Syzygy
by twilighterpated
Summary: The worlds of vampires, werewolves and humans continue to collide. Bella and Edward's relationship brings new tension and unexpected changes in the coven and the pack. This is a featured story on Twilight FanFiction! Post-Eclipse. *M b/c of two chapters*
1. Chapter 1: Wisdom

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**SYZYGY**

_A tribute to the eagerly awaited release of "Breaking Dawn" by Stephenie Meyer_

Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you,  
For where you go I will go,  
and where you stay I will stay  
Your people will be my people,  
and your God will be my God.  
And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried.  
May the Lord deal with me and more if anything but death parts you from me.

Book of Ruth

**Chapter One: Wisdom**

_June 16, 2006 Saturday afternoon_

"Bella?" his velvet voice broke into my thoughts.

I wondered if, after I was turned, he _would _be able to read my thoughts. I turned my head away from the impossibly green forest and towards his golden face, only inches from mine, as we sat on the porch watching the rain fall. My heart picked up the pace from just looking at him, though beating not quite as rapidly as it had in the meadow.

We'd returned home- well, technically not my home _yet_ - to wait for Charlie to get back from fishing. It's a good thing we only had an hour or so to wait. And that he suggested we wait on the porch and not his bedroom. Trying to respect what were now _my_ boundaries, I mused.

"Yes?" I asked, after a moment passed, and he hadn't spoken. His arms, wrapped around the blanket that was wrapped around me, tightened just a little.

"There's something that I'd like to do…something that is…important to me." He looked at me, amber eyes slightly imploring. They weren't as light as honey today, but still warm and liquid. "Important to me…" The words echoed in my head, only it was my voice that had said it to him, earlier this afternoon.

Anything, I wanted to answer. For you, anything at all.

But the fact that he was so hesitant sent warning signals through my head. If there's one mistake I had learned from, it was saying yes to Edward before I knew what the question was. And, I had just denied him something that he wanted. I quickly glanced down at our hands, entwined outside the blanket, knowing that if I was to stand any chance of saying no to this request, it wouldn't be while I was looking at those mesmerizing eyes of his.

"What is it?"

He shifted slightly in his seat, but still I didn't look up to be subjected to the dazzling. "I am quite aware that you won't share the same opinion on this issue," he began. "But please consider my position before refusing."

I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes. His speech was so formal. This sounded serious.

"Does this involve compromise?" I asked.

I felt him relax at our ongoing joke. "That is definitely one of our strong points, as a couple. But I believe it would fall under…negotiation."

As a couple. I liked how he said that. "Okay…" I said slowly, not sure of what was coming next.

"I'd like to talk to Charlie alone."

My eyes shot open and I looked at him, suspicious. "About what?"

"About our engagement," he answered simply, with a glimpse down at my left hand, clasped in his. He risked a smile at me. "I do believe it is customary for-"

"Wait a minute." I interrupted. I made my voice firm. "You are not going to ask for permission to marry me. I already said yes."

"One of the happiest moments in my life," he murmured, his eyes smoldering at me, one hand now playing with my hair. "I wasn't going to ask his permission. But I do think it would convey respect, and I think he would appreciate it. It could make the situation a bit easier. And…" he trailed off.

"And what?"

He shrugged, and smiled my favorite crooked smile. "It _is_ how I would have done it."

I remembered my vision – Edward, in his light suit, me in my high neck blouse, on the porch swing….definitely a different era. But not a different Edward.

I said I would consider it, so I took a moment to do just that.

I was going to have to trust Edward on many things in life. He'd trusted me more than I ever thought he would, through the absolute craziness of the last two months. Was there really a need to be stubborn about his request? I searched and could not find one – one that was rational, anyway. With any other suitor, Charlie's loaded gun would have been a terrific excuse, but it didn't apply where Edward was concerned. But it just felt so….old-fashioned. Like Charlie owned me or something.

"I'm not some sort of prize," I grumbled.

"Exactly," he agreed.

I glanced up at him to find him smiling at me, his eyes warm.

"Not a prize…but a treasure. To me, _and_ to your father."

I studied him. The fact that he knew more of Charlie's mind than me did not escape me. What exactly did he hear, I wondered? Edward would certainly have a grasp of the issues Charlie was truly concerned about, even if he didn't voice them.

The more I thought about it, I could see that maybe it could make this easier. Maybe not having me there could lower the intensity. That could hardly be considered negative. I really didn't want to have more images of Charlie yelling at the person I loved the most. Besides, it meant something to Edward. Shouldn't that be enough?

I sighed, and Edward glanced at me with a hopeful look in his eyes, but said "Bella, it's not absolutely necessary. If you would prefer –"

I cut him off. "Actually, it's okay." I smiled.

It took a moment for my words to register. Then he slowly grinned and his arms tightened slightly around me. "Thank you," he said quietly. Simple words, but his eyes were full of emotion. Maybe he could sense there was something deeper in my decision.

"You're welcome," I replied, snuggling closer into his sculpted, stone chest, absent of heartbeat. Such an easy request, compared to what I was asking of him.

I sat alone on the back porch after he left, wrapped in the thick blanket. It felt like a long time since I'd been alone. I knew that Carlisle and Esme were in the house, but they weren't watching me. The rest were away, although I wasn't sure where. Hunting, I had assumed, even though it would be earlier than needed. Maybe Alice needed extra strength for all the wedding planning she had ahead. At any rate, I had become accustomed to being babysat by Edward or some other mythical creature because of all the danger.

I breathed deeply. The danger had passed. My life could be normal again.

I grimaced inside. As normal as it could be, as a teenager about to be married to a vampire, then lose her humanity.

And lose much more.

My thoughts drifted to Jacob, and a lump still rose in my throat. I wondered how he was doing today. Was he healing? Was he hurting?

No, I told myself. No. You cannot think about that.

With resolve, I pushed thoughts forward. To speaking with Charlie. To speaking with Renee. What would I say to my parents? How could I make them understand that Edward and I were not the same as them? Charlie… I had a feeling Charlie would understand. But Renee… I wasn't sure that anything I would say to my mother would make a difference. I sighed.

There was so much to think about. I couldn't make decisions, with so much about my transformation out of my control.

What if…

What if I couldn't control myself? This worried me a great deal. What if I had to stay away from Renee and Charlie even longer than I expected? Would my long, but absolutely necessary absence permanently harm my relationship with either of them? It was pretty clear to both of them that money was never an issue with the Cullens. So, "sorry but we can't afford to fly home" was not likely to be accepted as an excuse. And I hated to lie, not to mention that I wasn't very good at it. What if I couldn't remember all of the lies necessary just to live?

What if the werewolves made good on Billy's ominous threats? Alice wouldn't be able to see that kind of attack coming, and Edward and I wouldn't be here… And my family…would they have to uproot and leave, because of me?

Jacob had said he would never let any of his brothers hurt me. _Would_ he hurt me? I had seen him close to rage a few times. What would I do if he tried to hurt…

Stop it. I told myself. He would never hurt you. He had said he would not split me any more. He said he would be good.

I hoped his definition of good was the same as mine.

I looked out into the misty forest and breathed deeply, trying to just let my mind go blank. The rain fell so softly, and was cushioned even further by the deep green of the cedars and the carpet of needles on the ground.

I focused my eyes on a single large drop hanging from a branch whose fringe tips barely brushed against the house. The drops around it were smaller and fell one at a time. But this drop seemed to hang on, unwilling to let go of the safety of the branch, to plunge into the unknown. It changed shape and stretched, and finally, reluctantly, I imagined, against its will, slid slowly down the needle and into the puddle below. It disappeared, melding with the droplets before it. It ceased to exist individually, and now existed collectively. Had it carried in itself something that the puddle needed? Did the presence – or absence – of one drop of rain matter at all?

The only sign the solitary raindrop had even existed was the small ripples expanding from the entry point – then they too were altered by the arrival of several more raindrops in quick succession, each creating their own little ringlets. The rain was governed by a force more powerful than itself, the natural course of the water cycle, endlessly repeating since the beginning of time.

I studied the little crests and troughs and became a bit reflective. What impression had my life made? It seemed the waves that radiated from me – at least the last two years – were waves of hurt. I cringed internally when I thought of the big and small ways I'd hurt so many people. It would be different once I was changed, I vowed. I couldn't continue hurting people, when I had eternity to live with the consequences. How had Alice put it? Part of being a Cullen was to be meticulously responsible.

With a flash of insight, I realized that in a way, I would cease to exist individually as well. For safety's sake the needs of my cov – mental cringe – my family would have to take precedence over my own selfish needs and wants. Only a force as powerful as love could give me that ability.

I had lost track of time. How many minutes had it been? Had it been an hour? A familiar anxiety crept into my consciousness – where was Jasper when I actually wanted his calming effect? – and I began to doubt my decision to let Edward speak to Charlie alone. What if they were fighting?

My thoughts turned to when I was on the mountain, waiting in misery for Edward to bring Jacob back to me, remembering when the realization hit me that the two of them could be fighting, and and …

No Bella! I was angry with myself. Stop. Stop it. Nothing good comes from reliving that night.

"You are being utterly ridiculous." I muttered to myself. That's definitely what Edward would tell me.

"Bella?"

I jumped slightly upon hearing Esme's sweet voice.

I turned, and saw her standing hesitantly in the sliding door, a mug in her hands, little wisps of steam rising in the cool afternoon air. The rich scent of chocolate wafted toward me.

"May I join you? Or would you prefer to be alone?"

"I'd love for you to join me." I smiled. "I need the distraction."

She replied with a radiant smile and handed me the cup. It warmed my chilly hands and smelled so good. It was such a motherly thing to do.

"Thank you." I said, with just a hint of surprise.

"I do remember how to cook." She smiled again. "And I wasn't sure the last time you'd eaten. I have things for a sandwich, too, if you'd like one."

"You grocery shop?" My face must have conveyed quite a bit of surprise, because she laughed.

"It's all part of the props, Bella. How strange would it be for me to never buy food for a family with three teenage sons?"

The only time I had ever seen food in the house was at our graduation party – well, my graduation party, really. And it was for the benefit of the guests only. Curious, I asked "What do you do with it?"

The expression on her face changed to sadness. "I take it to SafePlace, in Port Angeles. They certainly need it."

I just stared. SafePlace was a rape and abuse crisis center. It had a shelter home for abused women and their children. It offered counseling and life skills courses. I had learned about it in a class at school.

"I do a little volunteering there." Her eyes took a far away look. "It's nice to rock the babies while the ladies are in their classes."

"That's not – not hard for you?" I asked.

She looked at me sadly, but intently, as if trying to understand how to take my question, which, I realized, could be taken two ways. She gave an answer that fit both.

"Sometimes, in life, it's necessary to do things…even if they are hard to do." She sighed and looked out into the forest. A moment or two passed, and I felt like her thoughts were not in the present time and place, so I waited.

"I love Carlisle, and each of my children." We both smiled at the use of that word. "But.." her smile faded. "being able to have children…I think that's the only thing that could tempt me to return to humanity." She looked at me with an unreadable expression.

I froze, confused at this turn in the conversation. Esme had voted for my transformation. Was she having second thoughts? Was she trying to tell me something? Would this be like my conversation with Rosalie, to convince me that I didn't know what I was doing?

I decided to treat it as her sharing her life with me, with no ulterior motive.

"Does the pain ever go away?" I asked, hoping she knew I was referring to the death of her only child.

She gazed out into the forest again, and hesitated. "I don't know," she said finally. "When I was human, it was more than simply pain – it was despair, and it was unbearable. But since I was changed soon after, I would not presume to know the course those emotions take in a person's life. But my observation of humanity, over these many years, has led me to conclude that it very much depends on the individual."

"For me," she continued, "despair gradually gave way to grief, and grief to sorrow, and sorrow to acceptance." She glanced at me, perhaps to see if I was listening.

I was. I realized as she spoke, that the words could apply to Jacob, in a way. So I listened carefully.

"For me, I had to accept the knowledge that there would always be a wound, a part of me that would carry sadness. And the goal was not to make it go away completely." She paused, then wistfully added, "If I forgot about him, then how could I say that I truly cared so much for him?"

Cared for him… I knew she meant her son, but…

"But I also couldn't let it control me, and paralyze me from living. What's done was done. I had a new life ahead of me. Even with all the powers I had in my new life, I could not go back and undo the past. I could only control, to some extent, how I handled the future. To take all the love that I had for him, and funnel it to those in my life who were there for me to love."

I held my breath. Had she guessed that I was thinking of Jacob?

She turned her eyes back to me. "Wounds are terrible masters, but, surprisingly enough, wonderful motivators. I use mine to motivate me to provide help in any way I can, to women in desperate situations, struggling to raise their children." She looked away again, then said softly, "Children are such a precious gift. I wish the world could understand that truth."

I tore my eyes away and tried to breathe normally. My emotions were in a bit of turmoil. I didn't think Esme was trying to chastise me, but I couldn't be sure.

My thoughts came in a rush. Had I considered, _truly_ considered, how it would impact me to not have children? It meant nothing to me now; absolutely nothing. But what about in 5 years? In ten? Would it also be _my_ eternal regret?

And Jacob. My goal did not need to be to forget Jacob. It would be an impossible battle to win. But to take that love, and channel it to _do something good_….

I turned these thoughts over and over in my head, forgetting for a moment that Esme was sitting next to me, until she moved slightly. I glanced at her, still unsure of what to say, and saw that she too was staring out into the misty shapes of the forest, lost in thought as well.

I cleared my throat. "The wound…" then I stopped, unsure of what I was asking.

"..is very small now," she finished for me. "But I didn't try to _make_ it become smaller; I gave it the time to heal on its own. And it does get ripped open from time to time." Then she laughed. "But as you'll find out, Bella, time is viewed a bit differently when one has so much of it!"

A deeper laugh joined her from the door. "Which can be both good and bad, the sudden fluidity of time." Carlisle added.

The look of pure love that passed between them almost made tears come to my eyes. As Esme departed with a smile in my direction, I suddenly longed for Edward to return. Nothing would be too much to give up so that we could be together…not Jacob, not children, not anything. Forever would not be enough time to show my love for him. I sipped the hot chocolate, feeling warmth spread through my whole body with each swallow.

The subtle change in the temperature let me know evening had arrived. I pulled the blanket closer and made sure all the edges were tucked in, so no draft could steal the warmth away. Edward had remembered to drive instead of run, in case Charlie was being particularly observant today, so I heard the Volvo on the driveway announcing his arrival. Before I even set down the mug and turned he was already at the door. He was so beautiful to me. His grace was evident even in simple movements, like opening and closing a door.

"Hi." I said nervously, looking up into an unreadable face.

He gently, always gently, took my face in his hands – a surefire way to accelerate my heart. For a moment he stared deep into my eyes, and very slowly, very gently, brought his cool lips down on mine for a too-brief kiss, then resumed his previous position on the bench with me. His eyebrows raised slightly as he noticed the now empty mug with tell-tale signs of froth and chocolate on the rim, sitting on the small table by the bench.

"What did he say?" I asked. I was surprised by how calm my voice sounded.

He looked at me solemnly. "He said no."

"What?!" I gasped. "I thought you said you weren't going to ask –

"I didn't," he clarified. "And it took a little bit of delicate explaining to impress upon him that I was not asking for his _permission_, only for his _blessing_."

"And then…"

He looked away. "And then, we had a little…shall we say… conversation."

I just stared.

He grinned. "Although it would be a very loose definition of the word 'conversation'."

I felt the blood drain out of my face, and I must have slumped slightly, for I felt Edward's arms tighten reflexively around me.

"Oh no," I said. "I should have gone."

"No, I'm glad you let me go alone," he said sincerely. "He had a lot of questions for me, and it was easier for him to-" he paused and smiled "interrogate me without you present."

"Interrogate?" I frowned. "About…"

He grinned a crooked smile. "He wanted to know if you were pregnant."

I stared. "He thought I was pregnant?!" The indignation in my voice was apparent. After all the restraint I had exercised in that area, it felt like a personal affront.

"Well," he chuckled softly, "he seemed quite convinced that was the only reason you would ever agree to be married, and so he was intent on holding me directly responsible. When I assured him that was not part of the picture, I think it took him by surprise. It calmed him down rather quickly."

"What _did_ you talk about?"

His eyes were now serious, and he looked away. "Various things…things that most fathers would be concerned about, I imagine."

"Like…." I prompted with an exhale, realizing that I'd been holding my breath.

He looked back at me. "That I love you. That I can – and I will – take care of you. That you are happy. That this is your decision, not me pressuring you into something that you don't want." He paused, and smiled slightly. "That I am entirely convinced that he will do me great bodily harm if I ever hurt you in any way again."

I grimaced. Charlie did not know how impossible it would be for him to hurt Edward even slightly. Physically, anyway. But Charlie reminding Edward of when he left…that, I knew, did hurt him. It made me angry. There was no need for him to bring it up.

_With all the powers I had, even in my new life, I could not go back and undo the past_…

"He wants to talk to you." Edward continued. "He's waiting for us." Then he pulled back the blanket, chivalrously tucked my arm through his and smiled. "Shall we?"

author's note – added August 16th, 2008

Thank you for reading my fanfic! Now I have two questions for you!

**First question: How did you find this story?**

Found it while browsing on this fanfiction site,

Linked over from Twilight Fanfic and Fanart site

A friend told me about it

Other (tell me!)

**Second question: Will you be reading the next chapters? **

My stats show me that I have 1,022 hits on chapter one for this story, but only 419 people go on to "hit" (read) the other 12 chapters. As an author, I'm really curious why. Please leave me an e-mail (you can just leave a review) and let me know why you won't be reading the subsequent chapters. I'm not looking for the "b/c your story sucked" kind of answers. I'm looking for answers like….not enough action in the first chapter, or the ending didn't leave me wondering what Charlie would say, or the first chapter was too long….or I don't know how to get to chapter two!! Tell me how!! I want some kind of constructive criticism, not just a slam.

**Thanks! It will help me write more twilight stories for you to enjoy! **


	2. Chapter 2: Allegiance

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Thank you to Buggage and SaraheartsEdward for my first ever reviews! And thanks to everyone who's reading...

**SYZYGY**

**Chapter two: Allegiance**

June 16, 2006 Saturday night

The ride to my house was very slow.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts of what was awaiting me that it took me a couple of minutes to notice the speed Edward was driving.

"What's with the slow pace?" I queried.

He shrugged. "I think that Charlie knows the amount of time it should take to drive to my house and back. I don't want to have to answer any questions about my driving if we return too quickly." He squeezed my hand that he held and smiled. "No need to add any more questions."

I tried to smile back.

We were silent until we arrived at the house. As he turned off the engine, I heard him sigh.

"What is it?"

He turned to me. "Your father would like to talk with you alone, at least for a little while. He has some things that would be easier to discuss without me present."

"What kind of things?" I asked with some concern.

"Some personal things…some about your mom….some about Jacob."

I couldn't quite decipher the mixture of emotions those words raised in me.

"He loves you, Bella. He's concerned. He doesn't want you to make the same mistake he did. He doesn't want to push you away by being resistant." He paused. "I could refuse to leave, if you want me to."

I thought for a minute, trying to put myself in Charlie's shoes. It would be hard for him to voice any of these emotions, and I didn't need to make it more difficult for him.

"No. I'm okay," was all I could manage. Where, oh where was Alice to reassure me that this would go just fine?

"I'll suggest it," he said. "Maybe it will make me look good."

Even with my trepidation, I couldn't resist. "Edward, you _always_ look good."

He chuckled. It helped lighten the mood. He opened his car door and was holding mine for me before I even reached for the handle.

We walked to the front door, hand in hand. I took a deep breath and turned the knob.

"Ch-Dad? We're home." I knew there was really no need to announce our presence, as he must have heard us pull up, but I didn't know what else to say.

Charlie stood at the fireplace, his back to us, holding one of the pictures he had of me. I was a ballerina, all in pink, long ponytails sprouting from my head, hand on the bar, arm outstretched in front. I knew, for a fact, that particular bar no longer existed. It had been destroyed when the studio had been burned, more than a year ago, the March that I had almost died.

Interesting that he was holding that photo out of the many on the mantle. Or had he picked up each of them, one by one?

He returned it to its place and turned around. His eyes looked a bit red. I was more than a bit surprised when he didn't say anything, just walked over, and hugged me. Edward let my hand go, and after a moment, I slowly lifted my arms to return his hug.

Charlie's hugs were not exactly a daily occurrence.

He finally let me go and cleared his throat. "Bella." He looked – and then stared - at my ring. "I, uh, hear congratulations are in order, sweetie."

I didn't know quite what to say. "Uh, thanks, Dad."

"Charlie?" Charlie tore his eyes away from my hand to look at Edward. "I was wondering if you might like to talk to Bella alone for a few minutes. I'd be glad to step out."

Charlie looked surprised, then cleared his throat again. "Actually, Edward, I really would appreciate that, if you don't mind." Then he quite abruptly stuck out his hand, which Edward calmly took and shook. He leaned over to kiss my cheek – Charlie turned his head away at this – and left the room with no noise at all, except for the squeak of the door and the click as it closed.

Charlie and I both took a deep breath, exactly at the same time. Then we both glanced at each other, and laughed at the obvious synchronicity.

I went and curled up on the couch.

"So, let's see this ring," he started, sounding casual, as he seated himself also on the couch.

I felt a blush coming but held the ring out for his inspection.

"It's a beautiful ring," he offered. I'm sure he didn't know anything about rings.

"It was Edward's mother's ring," I shared.

"That's very special." There was a pause. "How does it feel on you?"

I shrugged, wondering where he was going with all this small talk. "A bit…uh…new."

"But you like it there."

"Yes." It was the only safe answer I could give. Anything else might be seen as a chink in the armor.

"And you are, uh, not pregnant." He said the words quickly.

I rolled my eyes. "Dad, Edward already told you that I'm not. And, I'm not." I added the last three words to make sure he got the message.

Charlie sighed.

"Well, Bella, I told you that I wouldn't flip out, so I won't. I mean, I'm trying not to. And I told you that I had a feeling about losing you. I just didn't think it would be so soon."

I waited.

"Part of me wants to try to talk you out of it, but I don't think that would get me anywhere." He looked at me for my response.

"Right," I said. "It wouldn't."

"Right," he said. "Okay. I just want you to know a couple of things."

I internally braced myself.

"Okay," he said again. "The first is, that…your mom and I really were in love. I mean, I really loved your mom."

His face still looked pained, after all those years.

"What I'm trying to say is, we thought it was going to work out. We thought our love would get us through anything. But it, uh, it didn't."

I wanted to interrupt and protest, but listened to the very small voice that cautioned me to just let Charlie have his say. He took another deep breath.

"So what I'm trying to say is, I know you feel that you and Edward are right for each other, and that you love him and that's all that matters, but honey, listen to me. It's not that easy. And sweetie, I'm… I'm very proud of you that you are not pregnant, because that would just make things more difficult, but even without that, you just can't understand how difficult marriage is, especially when you are so young."

I could feel myself getting tense. "I thought you said you weren't going to try to talk me out of it."

"I'm not," he said. "But I am trying to…uh…give you some insight. Bella, honey, why the rush? Why can't this wait a few years? If your love is strong, it will wait, even just a year."

I hesitated. There was no way I could explain it. "That's…that's not how Edward wants it." I answered, truthfully. It wasn't the whole truth – Edward wanted to be married before he would turn me into a vampire – but still, it was true.

He leaned in. "But what do _you_ want?"

"This is what I want, too. He's not talking me into it, Charlie. I have thought it through."

He looked at me with a dubious expression.

"Believe me, Dad, it's hard for _me_ to believe I'm doing this. I wasn't going to get married till I was thirty, at least. But I…I know this is right. I know it will work out."

He shot me a serious look. "I 'knew' it too, Bella, with your mom."

I shook my head. "But I'm not you. And I'm not mom. There's no reason for Edward and me to wait. It will only make life more difficult." I wished I could explain all the reasons why life would be more difficult.

There was a long pause while he stared hard at me.

"Okay." It wasn't a word of agreement, but of acknowledgment. "Okay, I probably shouldn't be doing this, but," he hesitated, "Bella, you do know that Jacob loves you, don't you? He really _loves_ you."

I felt my calm unraveling, and anger crept into my voice. "Edward really loves me, too, Dad." I said pointedly.

"I'm not denying that. You said "too", so does that mean you know that Jacob loves you?"

"Dad!" I didn't want to answer the question. "What are you getting at?"

He took a deep breath. "Bella, I know I haven't really been fair to Edward. I've kinda been on Jacob's team."

I grimaced at this non-revelation.

"But I really will support whoever you choose, honest I will. I just didn't know, if you knew for sure, that Jacob, uh, had, these kinds of feelings for you…that you really do have a choice."

His words reminded me too closely of words that Jacob had said to me. "Did Jacob tell you to tell me this?" I asked angrily.

"No, no, no. But, Bella, two very fine young men are really in love with you. That's got to be a difficult situation for a young lady to handle. It could make things look confusing, or…" he seemed to struggle for words, "make things seem immediate or that big decisions needed to be made. A choice doesn't have to be made. If things feel confusing or rushed, you can wait."

His words hit me on several levels. If he only knew how true some of his words were.

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Dad. I know Jacob loves me. He's made it very clear. Remember how I broke my hand?"

He nodded.

"And, it does make some things…difficult – I told you, remember? Remember when I went to go see him after the fi- motorcycle accident?"

I was going to say the fight, but remembered at the last second that Jacob's extensive injuries were supposed to have been caused by a motorcycle wreck, and not by an immature vampire.

He nodded again.

"Okay, so it is difficult, but no one is forcing me to make a choice before I'm ready. There's no confusion in my mind – or in Edward's. We're right for each other, and the timing is right, too." That was about as much as I could explain to Charlie, and have it be true. I was being forced to make choices, but not for the reasons that he was assuming.

There was another long pause. Charlie seemed to be struggling on whether to continue the conversation on the same path.

"Well," he finally said. "Edward will probably be back soon, and I wanted to tell you some other things."

I waited. I knew Edward would not be back until Charlie was entirely finished.

He cleared his throat. He looked away.

"I'm…I'm sorry…that I…" he cleared his throat again, glanced at me, then glanced up at the ceiling. "I wish that I had come after you and Renee."

I felt a lump form in my throat.

"Dad, it's okay." I managed to choke out.

He shook his head. "It's not okay. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I've regretted it a thousand times over." His voice shook slightly as he said it. He glanced at me and then back at the ceiling. I could feel my tears coming.

"And…I want you to know, Bella, that I am so proud of you, and I'm so proud to be your father."

A couple of tears spilled over my lids.

He cleared his throat , this time, maintained eye contact. "And, I want you to know, Bella, that I love you."

I moved forward to hug him, silent tears flowing. "I love you too, Dad." He patted my back, a bit awkwardly.

"And-"

"This is an awful lot of 'ands'." I commented, somewhat muffled by his flannel shirt.

"Last one, I promise. I want you to know that I am fully on team Edward now, since you've made your decision."

There was a knock on the door at that moment. Charlie stared at it. "Wow. That is uncanny timing."

I laughed, relieved that the conversation was over. "I'll let you tell him he has new fan."

"Right."

He didn't even hesitate, but swung open the door and stepped aside, sticking his hand out again as Edward stepped in. "Edward, c'mon in."

"Thank you, Charlie." But his eyes immediately searched for mine. I managed a smile, knowing that it was probably tear-streaked. He smiled in return and looked relieved.

He clapped Edward on the shoulder, a slight look of surprise passing instantaneously on his face as his mind registered – what? How cold and hard Edward's shoulder was? "So, welcome to the family."

"I'm honored," he replied earnestly, as he sat down next to me on the couch where Charlie had gestured.

"That's a beautiful ring you've got on my baby's finger."

"Not as beautiful as she is, sir." I rapidly blushed. The two of them seemed to be enjoying this.

"That's right. I'm glad you think so." Charlie was back to his normal self. "Now, when will this take place?"

Edward glanced at me.

"Um, we're thinking the beginning of August." I replied.

Charlie nodded his head. "And then you'll leave for school together?"

This time Edward nodded his head. "Yes, sir."

I just stared at him. What was with all this "sir" bit of nonsense?

"Who's doing the ceremony?"

I couldn't believe he was asking all of these questions.

"Carlisle." I blurted out.

"Dr. Cullen?" There was a little disbelief in Charlie's voice.

"It's not really public knowledge, but Carlisle was actually a minister before he became a physician." Edward explained.

"I see. So, August. That's not a whole lot of time."

"Alice is, uh, helping me with a lot of the planning, Dad." Make that, doing all the planning, I thought silently.

"Oh, well, then you have nothing to worry about." He rose from the chair he had settled himself into. "Well, it's late. I'm going to bed." Edward stood. Charlie waved him down, but he remained standing. "No, no, you stay as long as you like, Edward. There's no curfew now." He looked at each of us. "I trust you both. And I bet you have a lot to discuss." He reached over to shake Edward's hand one more time, this time looking him fully in the eye. "Take good care of my girl, Edward."

"Yes, sir. I will, Charlie."

"Night, Bells."

"Goodnight, Dad." As my dad climbed the stairs, Edward and I looked at each other in disbelief. Even with his special ability, Edward seemed to be in about as much shock as I was. Then Edward got a bit of a wicked grin on his face.

"Oh, Bella," Charlie called from the stairs.

"Yes, Dad?"

"I wouldn't wait too long to give this news to your mother."

I groaned. His chuckle faded as he finished the climb up the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3: Truce

_Wow__! Thanks SO much to everyone who's reading… and especially thank you to those who take time to leave a review. It's what keeps us storytellers going. An extra –big thank you to those who have left me so many nice comments over at the Twilight FanFiction and FanArt site, where I was able to post chapter one. Here's chapter three…and chapter four should be coming up pronto (it's in final edit)…I look forward to your comments! _

**Syzygy by Twilighterpated**

**Chapter Three: Truce**

"So where are we going, Alice?" My curiosity was getting the better of me as we passed several locations that I thought might be our destination.

She giggled. "Shopping."

I groaned inwardly. It was public knowledge that shopping was _not_ my favorite sport, although I probably looked less clumsy at it than at any other sport I tried. I knew Alice could not possibly need anything for her wardrobe, and, well, thanks to her, mine was in the best shape it ever had been. I still hadn't worn everything from my last "shopping trip" when I'd really been freezing on a mountaintop, freezing, that is, until Jacob –

No. I told myself. It's done. I will not go there.

I was curious, though. Her exuberant wedding planning had assured anything needed for that upcoming event had already been purchased. She wasn't volunteering any information, and she did have the most smug look on her face, so I pushed her a bit.

"Shopping for…."

"Your boudoir," she replied, her voice a mixture of wickedness and excitement.

I was speechless. Almost.

"My…." And Alice slid me a sly, knowing glance.

I felt a slow blush creeping up my face as I took in all that the word. It was immediately followed by a sense of guilt, glancing at Alice to see if I could surreptitiously check the color of her eyes. She was, after all, giving up a day that the rest of the family was out hunting – really hunting.

She laughed and her eyes, warm in color, twinkled at me. "Don't worry," she said. "I ate last night."

"Alice," I protested. "I'm not really into..uh..lingerie."

"Bella, listen to me," she said. "Sometimes marriage is cotton, and sometimes it's silk, and a smart woman is prepared for both."

"And for me, it's flannel and sweats." I grumbled.

She laughed. "You are so funny! And….you might surprise yourself." She laughed again.

I glanced out the window at the scenery whipping by, much too fast. I knew better to argue against the speed of which she was driving or against the shopping trip. Letting Alice plan our wedding was my gift to her. Her joy could not be contained. Apparently in her mind, my gift extended to slightly beyond the wedding itself.

I let my thoughts wander as the trees flashed by. I felt like I had been a good sport about all the wedding planning. It had settled into a nice routine of Alice doing all the work, then presenting me with simple decisions.

"Bella, of these three invitations, which one do you like the best?" as she lay them gently on the dining room table.

"Um, this one with the flowers."

"Great."

"Bella, which shade of blue do you like?"

I didn't even ask what the blue would be used for. "This one."

"Fabulous."

On and on it went. Flowers and cake and linens. I never put much thought into it; I just went with my first instinct. If I didn't have a gut feeling then my answer was "Whatever you think is best, Alice." Usually that answer got me a brilliant smile and a kiss on the cheek from my future sister in law.

I was getting a lot of kisses lately.

I did notice that Rosalie was never part of the little groupings I would stumble upon – Alice and Esme, with multiple thick books lying open on the Cullen's unused dining room table. Actually, she and Emmett were not around much at all. In the short time we had until the wedding, they suddenly had many places to visit.

I wasn't fooled. I could only imagine how difficult it was for her- Rosalie, who had once been caught up in her own wedding plans, only to have them shattered and destroyed by cruel violence. It tore me up inside. I brought it up with Edward during one of our many trips to the meadow.

"She's never going to like me," I said, glumly, picking at the wildflowers in our general area, the ones that had not been flattened by our blanket.

He just listened, his eyes with a look of sadness.

"I know it's so hard for her, but I don't know what to say to make it better." I was pleading for some insight. He could read her thoughts.

He shook his head, smiling slightly, as if he knew what I wanted. "You can't make it better, Bella. It really doesn't have to do with you."

"What do you mean, it doesn't have to do with me? I feel like the wedding is just rubbing salt in her wounds."

"Bella, she's had a few weddings since then. It's not the wedding. It's not you. It's… she just…" he paused. "We all have areas we struggle with." Another pause. "She does care about you. She doesn't want to hurt _you_, Bella, by saying something unkind. She thinks it's better for her not to be around so much."

I thought about this, about Rosalie caring for me. It would take me a while to believe that. Sometimes it was difficult to believe _any_ of the Cullens cared for me. They sacrificed so much for me, gave so much effort and risk in protecting me. I knew I was not worth their devotion. I only knew that Edward did love me.

I tried to imagine what it was like for Rosalie, tried again to see things from her perspective.

A terrible thought crossed my mind. I struggled to sit up and grab Edward's arm.

"Edward." He had already sat up in a swift movement. "Edward…she wouldn't…she's not thinking… they wouldn't leave, would they? Rosalie and Emmett? Would they leave?"

He didn't respond right away. My eyes widened. "No." I whispered. I felt filled with dread, and tears sprang to my eyes. "No, Edward, they can't leave. I won't let them, I'll…"

"Shh." Edward said, placing a cool finger on my lips. "Shh."

I felt myself start to shake. "Does Alice see…can she see if…"

"Bella, shh," shaking his head. "Stop."

I leaned forward into his arms, and they wrapped around me. My throat was tight and the tears started to fall. "Nothing has been decided. But, Bella," he pulled my now wet face off of his chest so he could look at it, "listen to me. People make their own decisions. You can't control that. You can't take responsibility for their decisions."

I could not fathom the idea of breaking apart his family. I felt a panic rising in me. How could I go back to their home, set one foot in the door, knowing that this awful thought had even crossed Rosalie's mind, however fleetingly. It struck me then that all of them probably already knew about this, even if I was just finding out.

"I feel horrible," I choked out. "I feel worse than horrible. Your family will hate me for making them leave."

He smiled slightly. "No, my family loves you. They realize that change happens. And you are not making anyone do anything…it's not your choice to make. Remember, I left the family for a while, once." A thoughtful look came to his face.

"That is completely different from this situation." I protested.

He shrugged. "Maybe it was. It was still my choice." He allowed me back onto his chest, and stroked my hair. "There's a lot that going to happen. It will all work out."

My thoughts returned to the present as Alice's laughter rang yet again through the Porsche's small interior and over the music she had playing in the background.

"Just consider today punishment for not letting me have the bridal shower." She tossed me a grin.

"So you've forgiven me, then?" I asked.

"Not _entirely_. But love covers a multitude of wrongs."

I sighed, not wanting to wade into that argument again. "It wasn't wrong, Alice, it was right."

She shook her pixie head emphatically. "Wrong. But I can deal with it." She began singing again, weaving intricate harmonies into the music as was her habit.

One time I _had_ walked in on the three of them – Alice, Esme and Rosalie. Rosalie and Emmett had been gone for a few days, and I hadn't realized they had returned.

Immediately I felt awkward.

"Welcome home, Rosalie!" I tried to sound enthusiastic.

"Thank you" she had replied without much expression.

Alice had scooted over on the couch and patted the place next to her. "Oh good, Bella, I'm glad you're here. We were just discussing your bridal shower!"

My mouth instantly went dry. "My WHAT?!"

"Your bridal shower! You know, when friends come and shower you-"

I cut her off. "I know what it is, Alice. No. I'm not having one."

Her eyes narrowed. "Of course you're having one, Bella. You are the _bride_. We just wanted to know what dates would work best for Renee."

"No." I said emphatically. "I don't want one."

I watched Alice and Esme look at each other. Rosalie was gazing at me with interest. I realized how rude I sounded. I licked my lips.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so rude. But, really, I would prefer not to have one."

Esme looked at me thoughtfully. Alice crossed her arms.

"Bella," Esme said gently, "why don't you want a bridal shower?"

A hundred thoughts raced through my head. How could I explain it? The intense embarrassment I still felt when people saw the ring on my finger? How every fiber in me screamed in protest at the idea I was even getting married? How I could still hear the whispers of people in town when I passed, knowing even without Edward's mind reading abilities that they assumed I was pregnant? How I could never justify getting married at eighteen – for anybody! I wasn't going to promote it with a party.

Long moments passed as I tried to put these thoughts into words without saying anything that in anyway would hurt their feelings, or give them doubts about how I felt about Edward.

I couldn't come up with anything.

"It's hard to explain why," I said slowly. "I'm sorry," I said again. I didn't know what else to say.

Silence.

Then Esme stood and put her arms around me. "Bella, it's okay. We understand."

"We do NOT understand," snapped Alice. "Just think about it, Bella. I'm _sure_ you'll change your mind."

I knew she was not relying on her special vision this time. I would not change my mind.

I glanced at Rosalie. She had a very thoughtful look on her face.

The whole family was amused as they watched me steadfastly resist Alice's attempts to change my mind over the next couple of days. At first, I was subjected to a day of the silent treatment. Then she switched tactics and tried threats and bribes. She pouted. She lectured. When she was at my house one afternoon, I saw her eyeing Charlie, as if she was trying to think of a way to use him as arsenal.

I endured it all.

She pleaded with Edward, who reminded her with just a hint of teasing that she already knew the answer. I was not going to change my mind.

"Bella," she complained one day, "I am going to just plan a surprise one. Social graces would require you to be polite and enjoy it."

I had spent the morning curled up on a bench cushioned with pillows, set in exactly the small square that the sun, shining tenaciously through the trees, had staked out on the porch. Rosalie had quietly joined me, setting up her paints and easel a little ways away from me.

I put down the Stephanie Barron book I was reading and just stared at Alice. I opened my mouth to say "I'll ask Edward to tell me" when Rosalie turned toward Alice.

"If you do that, I will tell her," she said calmly. "She said no, Alice. Why can't you respect her decision?"

Both of us stared at her. Me, out of astonishment that she had come to my defense, Alice, out of frustration, most likely. Rosalie calmly turned back to her painting. Alice turned on her heel and let the door slam behind her. Rosalie acted like nothing had happened.

"Uh, thanks, Rosalie." I finally said, cautiously.

She acknowledged my words with a glance, but didn't reply.

She and Emmett didn't leave, after that. I had been under the impression they were traveling to Scotland. Edward told me the trip had been cancelled.

I was brought back to attention by the Porsche's sudden slowing.

"Hello, Seattle," Alice murmured.

Seattle. Less than a year ago, I was forbidden to set foot in the city, since it had a newborn vampire army in it – an army that had been created for the specific purpose of my destruction. A shudder escaped me. Who new how many other vampires lurked in its vast streets?

But I had Alice – better than a bodyguard – who saw no threat to us. So unless any werewolves were running through the streets, I was assured of arriving back to Forks safely, no matter how much I felt a trip like this would kill me.

I doubted very much that Jacob was running around Seattle. I assumed with his incredible rate of healing that he could run by now. I didn't know where he was, or what he was doing. For all I knew, that's how it would remain.


	4. Chapter 4: Scars

_Here you go…chapter four…make sure you let me know if I should continue. Although I know in ONLY 17 DAYS!! we'll all be reading something else. Hmm.. I wonder how many of my chapters I can get the final edit done and posted before then…_

**Syzygy by Twilighterpated**

**Chapter Four: Scars**

The vibrant pink and green of the overhang above the sidewalk alerted me to our first destination before we reached it. "Faire Frou Frou" I read on the sign.

It reached out in stark contrast to the gray, overcast and drizzling air around it. I sighed and thought of what summer weather _should_ be.

"Now Bella," Alice said quietly. "I know you are doing this for me – well, most of it, anyway. But I don't want you settling for just anything in order to shorten this experience. When the right one comes along, you'll know it."

"That's true not only with gowns." I grinned, as her gloved hand opened the door to a tinkling of bells.

"Indeed," she murmured, already distracted by the alluring colors on the seemingly endless supply of lingerie. The scents that mingled in the air and the glitter of gold that covered everything and the crushing _girliness_ of the store combined to flood me with a feeling of being completely overwhelmed.

Were there really this many shades of pink?

The storefront had been small, but it seemed as if the store stretched on forever.

I stared at all the racks, feeling lost. I felt a permanent blush on my cheeks just from being in the store.

"Alice, I can't believe you are doing this to me." I moaned.

"I could have flown you to New York and made it much worse," she said, already with several short gowns in her arms.

"How could this be worse?" I demanded.

She glanced up at me. "Private showings. Personal fittings." My jaw must have dropped. "Now come on."

"What do I do?" I asked, thinking about the horror of personal fittings.

She sighed. "Wander. Browse. Pull out anything that catches your eye for one reason or another. And, if you don't find anything here, don't worry. There are a few other places that are worth our time today."

I groaned.

"You'll thank me later, Bella."

Despite my declarations of being skilled in cities, I was completely lost as Alice zoomed around, taking me to stores with names I've never heard of. I didn't have much to show for our efforts - just a couple of pajama sets and a few cotton nightgowns.

"Jeez, Bella, you could wear these if you were having a slumber party with _me_," Alice grumbled.

"You said I needed cotton." I reminded her.

She glared at me. "Let me make it more clear. The wedding night? That's a lace night, okay?"

"I'm just getting warmed up," I protested.

Perhaps the threat of private showings made me motivated, or maybe it was the more muted style of the next store, or perhaps the name was a charm – "Bellafleur". There was no brazen announcement that it was a lingerie store; no embarrassingly revealing displays in the window. The brick building was tucked in among numerous others in the square.

An older woman greeted us. She struck me as unruffable – like she'd been doing this for years and had seen everything. I did see a light go on in her eyes when Alice asked if they carried certain brands – ones I had never heard of. That began an animated conversation between the two of them, where she also found out the reason why we were shopping. She turned and looked at me with a practiced eye, then excused herself for a moment, and returned with a tape measure and a clerk.

"Shall we go up to the second floor, and take some measurements?" It was really a statement. I knew not to protest. Alice grinned at me.

I found myself adding several selections to the ones Alice was handing to the clerk assisting us. Colors seemed to catch my eye. Midnight blue. Mahogany. Dark red. Plum. The ones Alice were handing to the clerk were mostly white.

"Alice, there are other colors besides white," I noted.

She looked up at me and rolled her eyes.

"Really, Bella." She and the clerk assisting us exchanged a glance. I could feel the blush creeping up my face. Even the clerk had a little smile on her lips.

"And besides, they are not all white," she corrected. "They're ecru, eggshell, ivory and cream. And this one is onyx!" She tossed a very black and very lacy and very stringy thing on top of the pile. My blush felt deeper.

It seemed to me that enough items to fill a small store were waiting for me in the huge dressing room. But I was feeling like a pro now, and moved quickly through the piles. Slip it on, go with first impression, slip it off, hand it over the door to the attendant to be returned or put it in the pile to buy.

The buy pile was growing.

Several that Alice picked out I didn't even bother to try on. I was embarrassed just _looking_ at them, let alone to think of _wearing_ them.

Alice was impressed with my speed. She took advantage of it to flit in and out of the dressing area, handing more things over the door, not just nightgowns but pretty bras, robes and short, sexy things. She and the very competent, very calm attendant carried on discussions that were over my head, using words I was unfamiliar with, like charmeuse and chemise and peignoir. The clerk seemed a bit irritated that the honeymoon destination was unknown, and could not be figured into the equation of what I needed.

"Eef eet is so cold, ve vill need different items, you see? Een order to be so comfortable." Her French accent was delightful to listen to. "And ve must not forget her lov-_er_." She placed the accent on the second syllable.

Believe me, you would not forget him, I thought. But aloud I complained, "Alice, am I trying on every single item in my size in this store?"

She giggled. "Might as well. You're going so fast, we definitely could. Maybe we've uncovered your gifting. Maybe you'll become a spectacular shopper after you're changed."

"That _would_ be a fate worse than death." I mumbled as I turned to the next item in the seemingly endless line of things to try on.

"Who knows?" she quipped. "It could happen."

"_You_ know." I pointed out, as I pulled on the mahogany colored one that had caught my eye.

Her tinkling laughter was her only response, and it faded as she headed out for another armload. I struggled a bit to figure out how to put this one on. On the left side, it had a single strap that went over the shoulder, but on the right side, it had three thin straps spaced out over the shoulder. I ended up sticking my head through the wrong strap, and had to start over to get it right.

The three straps from the shoulder continued over the bodice in a raised fashion on the velvet-like material, and then curved to the hip and down the leg of the close fitting skirt, which flared out just slightly at the very bottom. From the hip down, the material between the strips of velvet was a very sheer brown. The skin shone through, but the three strips of velvet lay tight against my leg.

I stared at the reflection in the mirror.

Not mahogany, I realized. Russet brown. That's why this gown had caught my eye. The very familiar color of Jacob's fur. Russet. With three, thick, raised, reddish-brown stripes running the length of my body, from shoulder to knee.

Like scars.

Like Emily.

I suddenly felt very cold.

It hit me full-force, so much that I forgot to breathe and could hear the blood rushing in my ears. I could have been hurt. Seriously hurt. The realization sunk in slowly, oozing down through my many layers of denial and excuses. But it was truth. With a wide-eyed, scarred version of myself in front of me, I couldn't deny it. Of course it would not have been intentional. It may not have even been Jacob, I realized, as I thought about the time with Paul. But I had been so very stupid. Why, oh why, did I court danger? Why could I not even see Edward's – and Alice's – and Jasper's points of view? Why had I not been more careful?

Because I was in so much denial – I had to be, to maintain my presence in the werewolf world.

Because love is blind, I admitted to myself. Blind to danger.

Werewolves – even those I loved – were _not_ giant oversized dogs, as Jacob had put it. Just like the other supernatural creatures I mingled with – and had a healthy respect for - they were volatile. Unpredictable. Otherworldly.

Suddenly, I couldn't get the gown off fast enough, but I seemed unable to tear my eyes from the stripes on my body. I tore at the short zipper at the back of my waist, fumbling with it, silently cursing my clumsiness, as if every minute the image remained in the mirror was a minute closer to bringing it to reality. Finally I just pushed the straps off my shoulder and turned the whole thing around to get to the zipper.

The distinct fumbling noises must have been familiar to the clerk.

"May I geeve you some asseestahnce?" she asked politely.

"No thank you," I responded quickly. "I think I've got it."

Finally, I had it off. My shoulder and leg were now white and whole. But the other image lingered in my mind. I grabbed a black see-through robe with feathery things on the edges that was in the lineup and wrapped it around me, then tossed that aside and reached for the familiar jeans and blouse.

Alice was just coming back in when I stepped out of the dressing room.

She stopped short. "Are you okay, Bella?"

"I think I just need a break. I'm feeling a little-"

Understanding flitted across her face. "I totally forgot. Let's get you something to eat." She turned to the clerk. "Would it be possible…?"she queried.

"Certainly," responded the clerk with a smile. "All time is for the Mademoiselles. Everytheeng vill be vaiting vhen you return."

I didn't bother to correct Alice's assumption that I needed food. Better that than to explain what had just happened.

_Okay, now you need to know that I love Jacob, too, so don't get mad at me for the Jacob part! It's just part of the story. Don't forget to leave a review! _


	5. Chapter 5: Silk

_A __huge__ thank you to __everyone__ who has taken time to leave a review! And thanks to those who have put the story on their favorites list or their alert list. _

_Thanks for continuing to read! Slowly we're getting to some good stuff… there's an unexpected meeting in the next chapter (you'll never guess with who), and a big argument, and second thoughts… all undergoing a final edit and coming soon! If these characters would quit doing things that I didn't expect it would be easier, but they have minds of their own. Speaking of characters, you all know that they belong to Stephenie Meyer, right? Do I have to keep on saying that in every chapter? _

**Syzygy by twilighterpated**

**Chapter Five: Silk**

Alice walked purposefully to a café located in the same square as Bellafleur. Since the sky was completely overcast, we were able to eat in a small outdoor patio area, with a little waterfall that provided a serenade of liquid music. It soothed my jagged emotions.

Despite the clouds, Alice still chose to sit on the side of the table that was in the shade.

Little things to remember, I noted to myself. Maybe it became habit after fifty years or so.

I forced myself to eat, since I was working under the pretense of being hungry.

"I have to admit, Bella, you're doing a great job today." Alice commented. I just nodded, glad my mouth was full and I couldn't reply.

"Thanks for putting up with me." She grinned.

That was unexpected. I smiled and took a sip of water.

"Well, you are doing a huge amount of work for me, so it's the least I can do. You keep telling me I'll thank you later…"

She laughed. "You will. And I do have a surprise for you today. Someplace that _you_ would choose to go."

I raised my eyes. "Really? Where?"

"I'll tell you after we're done. If you're good."

I closed my eyes for an instant, and gave an exaggerated sigh. "Okay, then let's get this over with."

It seemed to me that Collette, as we discovered her name was, had taken pity on me. The dressing room had been picked up, and I was pretty sure that the number of things waiting for me to try on had been reduced, and there were no stringy items to try on at all. She'd probably gotten a pretty good sense of what I liked and didn't like by now.

The russet gown that I'd kicked into the corner was gone. Good. If only I could remove the images in my head as easily.

"Madamoiselle, I took ze libertee ov adding selections for your fiancé. Unless he eez already prepared?" Collette queried.

I had no idea. "Thank you." I glanced at Alice. Maybe _she_ had some idea of what was in Edward's wardrobe. "Do you think you could take a look…" I trailed off.

"Sure." Her eyes glittered. I could only imagine what she would try to purchase.

I looked at Collette and sighed. "Please keep her reasonable."

She smiled. "L'amour n'est jamais raisonnable. But,oui, yes, I veel try."

I started on the pile left in the dressing room, not really listening to the conversation outside the door. I couldn't understand it anyway, since Alice had switched to French. Occasionally she would ask "What color was that kimono you liked?" or "Do you have anything in navy, Bella?"

"Alice," I said. "We don't have to look like twins."

"Ah, avise la fin, mon cheri. Tous les deux vous seront nus." Collette's response sent them both into laughter.

Getting quite tired of the whole routine, I barely looked at yet another white, long gown waiting for me and slipped it over my head.

"Ooohhh." I said, in spite of myself.

The flurry outside the door ceased. "Did you find it?" Alice asked.

"I - I think so."

Delicate straps were connected to a bodice of intricate, dense lace – a pattern of flowers and leaves. It was a vintage looking design, but definitely a modern style. After the bust it fell into a cascade of dreamy white fabric – silk maybe?- that reached to my middle of my calves. The back – well, there was no back, really – it plunged in a vee dangerously past my waist, with a single strand of gossamer attaching the two sides across my shoulder blades. The front reminded me of my wedding dress, but much, much more sexy. It fit perfectly.

I stared at the girl in the mirror. Was that really me?

I reached for the handle to the dressing room to see what Alice thought.

"No no no!" squealed Alice. "Don't show it to me!"

"What-"

"I don't want to have a picture of it in my head at all! I told you you'd know when you found the right one." Her voice took on a tone of triumph. "But _Edward_ doesn't get to see _this_ one until your wedding night."

At last Alice was satisfied. While Collette was removing things from the dressing room to wrap, Alice showed me things for Edward.

"Now, this part is fun," I told her, as I held up a dark red lounging set, and imagined Edward's smooth, chiseled chest showing through the kimono wrap.

"I knew you'd have a good time," she said, gathering up all the items. "You can wait outside, if you want. I'll take these to Collette, and we can pick them up on our way back tonight."

"Great." I said, and moved quickly to get out of the store, stopping only to say a heartfelt thank you to Collette for all of her help, and receiving her warm wishes for a beautiful day and a "fan-_tas_-teec" honeymoon. I managed to bump into only one rack, even though I was walking as fast as I could, lest Alice found one more thing that needed to be tried on.

I was relieved to finally be back outside, and sat on a bench that was protected from the intermittent rain by an overhang. The square we were shopping in was quite a bit larger than I understood, extending several blocks in either direction. I only had a short time to take in the beauty of the square filled with flowers and interesting pieces of art before Alice joined me.

"Now, where's this surprise you told me about?" I demanded.

"This way," she instructed.

We walked past several other brick and stone buildings, one in particular completely covered by ivy an electric shade of green. It felt like an era gone by, with sections of cobblestone street, old-fashioned lampposts and even tall round clocks perched on ornate stands, stationed like sentries on the street corners.

Alice stopped suddenly in front of one nondescript shop. A sculpted sign over the door read "Ye Olde Gold". The sign looked as old as the bricks it hung from.

"Bella," Alice asked, "Do you have a ring for Edward?"

"Uh…no," I stammered. Another detail I had completely overlooked.

"I feel like we should go in here." She murmured. "So I should probably give you this before we go in…." she swiftly reached into her thin bag, but hesitated before she took out her hand.

"I know it sounds strange, but this is no big deal," she began.

"Strange is normal for me," I replied. "And you're the one making a big deal out of something."

"Do not throw a fit," she ordered.

"About what?" I asked, getting exasperated.

She sighed. "About this." Her fingers came out grasping a thin piece of plastic, and she handed it toward me.

I just stared. It was black, and I could see the thin gold decoration near the edges. I had seen Alice use it on the way to Phoenix and to Italy.

"You're kidding," I said.

"No, I'm not."

"No way." I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets.

"Bella, we each have one. It's part of being a Cullen. Get over it."

"Well, I'm not a Cullen yet, so it will have to wait."

Her eyes narrowed. "And how, exactly, were you going to pay for Edward's ring?" she asked.

I swallowed. She had me there. I was totally embarrassed that I had overlooked something as important as Edward's ring – he had not even mentioned it, gentleman that he was.

"I…I can't." I said slowly. "It's not right."

"Bella!" she said, exasperated. "Money doesn't really mean anything!"

"Easy for you to say," I snapped. "When you've always had it."

"I have _not_ always had it," she returned icily. "But I have learned to use it. It's a prop. And you'll have to learn that too."

Maybe she was right, but I still couldn't take it. She had to go for the kill.

"You do know that he will give you a gift beforehand? That is a custom he's familiar with," she continued. "Of course, you don't have to give him a gift in return," she shrugged. "If you don't want to."

Of course she would know. She probably already knew what it was. I _wanted_ to get Edward a gift, something he really deserved, something fabulous. Fabulous, like him.

"Bella," she said a bit more gently. "Who do you think is paying for the wedding? Who paid for all the things in the store?"

She was right. I was already spending his money.

I felt shaky as I took the card. Bella Swan, the name read.

"Maybe I should just get myself a new car on the way home. My truck is getting a little old." I smiled weakly.

"You could." Alice said nonchalantly, reaching for the door handle. "Edward would love that gift."

_More coming soon…don't forget to leave a review…any guesses on who shows up next chapter? It's not who you expect – or who some of you want. _

_Oh, and for those of us that don't speak French: _

_L'amour n'est jamais raisonnable - loosely translated, "love is never reasonable"_

_avise la fin, mon cheri. Ttous les deux vous seront nus.– loosely translated, "consider the end result, my dear. Both of you will be naked."_


	6. Chapter 6: Stones

Okay, so the unexpected meeting happens in the next chapter

_Okay, so the unexpected meeting happens in the next chapter. I didn't realize Bella and Alice had one more stop to make, but it's important that it happened now - can't tell you why. And again, a million thanks to YOU for reading, and another million thanks if you leave a review! _

_Watch your mail boxes, or keep checking back, because I only have to write two more chapters to link to ones that I already have written…so the next five chapters could come pretty fast and furious! Of course, we all know what's coming in 10 days!! I hope I can get them up before then! _

**Syzygy by twilighterpated**

**Chapter Six: Stones**

Just like our previous stop, the rather common storefront didn't accurately portray what awaited inside. The classy room was lined with display cases, each with thick wood on the sides, and held up by polished wooden legs. It struck me as if every display case was a treasure chest with a glass lid. And that wasn't entirely inaccurate. Each case was a sea of silver and gold, with gems and pearls sparkling for attention.

But that's not what caught _my_ attention.

One wall of the room was almost completely covered by a massive painting that drew me in. A lady sat in a garden setting, completely engrossed in a book. Her long white dress curled lazily around the ground. In the distance, completely oblivious to her, stood two men, one stooped over with age looking in the opposite direction and one standing ramrod straight; a young man and obviously by his demeanor and his dress, a gentleman.

I heard Alice quietly clearing her throat and realized we'd been standing in the same spot for more than a few seconds, yet the man who sat in the back of the store had not acknowledge us with more than a brief nod as we entered the store – probably the same nod he saved for all teenage-looking girls who wandered in. At Alice's slight provocation, I thought I heard him sigh, and with reluctance he pulled himself away from the stones he had been examining and came over.

"May I help you?" he asked in a polite, disinterested tone.

"I hope so." Alice flashed him a brilliant smile. He looked briefly stunned, her beauty catching him off guard, I suppose, now that he was close enough to see her. "We're looking for a wedding ring for a groom."

He sighed again. "Yes. Well, the most popular styles these days are the platinum bands, several of which are quite affordable…" and then, gesturing to the case on his right, he launched into a rehearsed spiel about wedding bands, no doubt tailored to infatuated teenagers. I immediately tuned out, turning instead back to the painting on the wall.

The attention of the young gentleman was completely riveted by the lady. She was nothing spectacular, no great beauty in my mind. But the look in his eyes, captured so well by the skilled painter, was one of enchantment. I was a bit mesmerized by it. It may have well been entitled "Imprinting". That's what I felt was occurring in the scene.

And she was so oblivious, so relaxed, so calm. It bothered me. Shouldn't something inside of her have alerted her to his presence? Couldn't she feel the intensity of his gaze, even across the field? Did she not hear the intake of his breath, see the movement out of the corner of her eye as he stood up straighter, leaned unconsciously toward her? Was she reading about love in her novel, when quite possibly true love was waiting for her only a short distance away? If only she would glance up! If only he would take a step, or two.

The jeweler finished his spiel and waited. I glanced back toward him. He looked entirely bored. His eyes flickered back to his work bench, then back to Alice.

Alice let the silence linger for a moment.

"Thank you for that information," she began. "But we were looking for something more vintage."

"Yes," he began obediently. "A hammered metal is often appealing to those looking for a vintage look-"

This time Alice didn't wait. "I'm not seeing anything here that meets our needs."

He blinked.

"Something more exclusive than what's available on the floor, perhaps." She gazed up through her lashes.

He blinked again, as if his mind was slowly shifting gears.

"I'm sure we could make it worth your time," she almost cooed, again smiling. Then she seemed to hesitate – purposeful, I thought – and said, "Of course, it would be completely understandable if you didn't have what we were looking for."

"May I ask what you had in mind?" he queried, suddenly looking intrigued.

"Something from the aesthetic period, something companionable to her engagement ring." She gestured calmly in my direction.

He looked at me curiously. I took my hand out of my jacket pocket and held it for him to see.

He drew in a sharp breath, eyes riveted on my left hand.

There was another moment of silence. I glanced at Alice. She smiled.

"May I?" the jeweler asked quietly. He reached for my hand. I had to take a step closer to the counter for him to reach it. He took my hand gently, tilted it one way and the other, appraising the ring. It was a bit uncomfortable being handled as if my hand wasn't even there, just an attachment to the ring. He set my hand down on the counter, and continued to stare at the ring.

More silence.

Finally he looked up to meet my eyes. His countenance was completely different. It was alive now, intrigued.

"What an exquisite ring," he said with feeling.

"Thank you."

"May I ask how your fiancé came upon it? Of course, if that is too personal a question.."

"No, not at all. It's, um, been in his family for a while."

"Quite extraordinary," he murmured. He glanced again at me, then back to Alice. He looked excited. "If you'll excuse me for a moment, I'm sure I can bring you a selection that will interest you."

"Thank you," Alice murmured.

He walked quickly to the rear of the store. I noticed that he discreetly checked the back of each display case to confirm it was locked as he walked past it. He disappeared around a corner.

I continued to stare at the painting on the wall.

The young man was beautiful. He was strong and handsome. His hair was away from his face, and his features were chiseled and noble. What was he thinking, as he looked over at the young lady, completely engrossed in her novel, entirely oblivious to his attention?

I looked at the bottom of the painting. There was a metal tag on the frame. "Love At First Site." Marcus Stone.

I would have to remember that.

The jeweler returned. "Ladies?" he gestured toward a table where he had set down a tray.

As we settled down into the plush chairs I could see perhaps a dozen extraordinary rings – even my uneducated eye could see they were what I would lazily call "vintage." The jewels that sat on most of them were stunning.

"I would be happy to give details on any ring that catches your attention," the jeweler said enthusiastically. "I do apologize for not realizing sooner what you were looking for. Most of my customers who are interested in the exclusive collections call ahead. Might I ask how you knew this was my specialty?" he asked curiously.

"We didn't," said Alice truthfully. "I just had a feeling about the store."

"Interesting," he replied as the two smiled at each other. "I'm so pleased you came in."

Then I saw it.

Edward's ring.

The stone in the middle was golden, topaz, honey, all mixed together. It was like his liquid eyes were gazing at me. On either side was a row of diamonds that looked to be the size as the ones that were on either side of my ring, with the same style of gold fringe holding them in place.

I glanced up at the jeweler who had followed my gaze and was smiling. "Do you like the sapphire?" he asked as he picked up Edward's ring.

My confusion must have shown on my face. Weren't sapphires blue?

"As you no doubt are aware," the jeweler began with enthusiasm, "In the late Victorian era Ceylon sapphires became available. This is a yellow sapphire, paired with exquisite diamonds."

He handled the ring with gloves.

"The sapphire is presented in an old mine cut. Stones cut in this fashion will have a high crown to them as well as a small table. They are often square in shape, as this one is, and the corners are a bit rounded to give the stone a unique and unforgettable look."

Unique. Unforgettable. Like Edward.

"When a gem in cut in this manner, the light is able to pass through the stone in such a way that it produces a breathtaking, sparkling sight."

He angled the ring to the light to demonstrate.

I stared, speechless.

"The diamonds are the same size as the ones on your ring, and with very similar filigree, I believe."

I put out my hand, which trembled slightly, and he eagerly put the ring next to mine.

"A perfect match," he murmured to himself. "I knew it."

I knew it, too. This was Edward's ring.

"This…this is what I'm looking for," I said. "I'd like to purchase it." I didn't see any price tags attached to it. "Uh, what is the price?"

He laid it down without looking at me. "The price is set at sixty-seven hundred dollars."

I was again speechless. Sixty – seven hundred…..

Alice stepped in. "Excellent. It is a beautiful ring, exactly what we're looking for. It is a size nine?"

"Yes, it is."

"The right size, even," she sighed. "Bella, could you even imagine finding such a perfect ring?"

I composed my shocked features. "Er-no."

"Well, I don't think you should pass it up."

"No, of course not," I said.

"Did you want to pay for it now, or come back after more shopping?" she hinted.

The card. "Is now okay?" I stupidly asked the jeweler.

"At your leisure," he replied, with a smile.

My hands still shook as I dug the card out of my wallet from behind my library card where I had stashed it. He glanced at the name, without seeming to have the usual reaction the black card brought out in people.

"Ms. Swan, this will only take a few more moments of your time," said with utter politeness.

"No problem."

I took a deep breath. I tried to imagine the look on Edward's face when he saw the ring. He would love it. His eyes would shine as I explained how the sapphire reminded me of just that-his eyes. He wouldn't be upset about the cost, I reassured myself. I would place it on his finger to check the fit, and we would place our hands next to each other to see the rings sparkle in tandem. He would take me in his arms, and kiss me, and –

Alice nudged me with her foot. The jeweler was back with the card, which I shoved unceremoniously into my jeans pocket , and several pamphlets stating the care of the ring and all the services he provided for its upkeep – "as a service to our valued clients, no additional charge, of course" – along with several elegant ring boxes for me to choose from. I choose the box made of a light colored wood, with a braid engraved into it that weaved its way around the sides before disappearing into the plush cushion.

"Ms. Swan, if you're able to wait, I would like to give it a final polish. Perhaps I could polish your ring as well, and check the settings?" He looked hopeful.

I glanced at Alice. My time was not my own. She was smiling.

"That would be…lovely." I managed. I slid the ring off of my finger and placed it in his open palm.

My finger felt light and bare without it. I didn't like it.

"Perhaps we could check back in a few hours?" Alice suggested.

"They will be waiting for you," he replied with a bit of a gallant air.

Alice rose and reached out a hand. "Thank you so much for your efforts."

"No effort at all; it was a delight," he returned with a smile, and then turned to me, taking my hand in both of his. "Ms. Swan, an absolute pleasure doing business with you. Consider me at your service for anything you need in the future. My sincerest congratulations and wishes for an extraordinarily happy marriage."

"Thank you." I simply replied.

He was already at his workbench before we were out of the store. I gazed longingly at the painting as we went outside. I would have loved to stand and stare at it for hours.

Alice was practically dancing with delight. I had to have a quick pace to keep up with her. "Can you believe that ring, Bella? It's absolutely _perfect_!" She didn't wait for me to get a word in edgewise. "I'm so glad we went into the store. You are doing so great!"

I was, actually, feeling really happy. Or maybe it was relief.

Her eyes were sparkling. "We are getting so much accomplished! What else can we get done today? Oh! I know! It's perfect for where we're going."

"Where _are_ we going?" I asked as we walked, not frustrated, just curious.

"Here!" she said, gesturing across the street.

I looked, and gasped.

We were across from Elliot Bay Book Company. The enormous bookstore was quite famous and a place I'd longed to visit. It had been in my plan to do so when I decided to move in with Charlie, but had forgotten about in previous two years chaos.

Now _my_ eyes were shining. Alice laughed.

"This is a great reward, Alice," I said, turning to her. "But…will you have a good time here?"

She shook her head. "Bella, you are the sweetest person ever. You've given me a great time today. This is for _you_ to enjoy. Besides, I won't be here. You can just go lose yourself in books for a couple of hours – I mean that only figuratively, of course," she hurried to add.

"Really? I mean, it's okay to leave…"

"Oh yeah. You'll be fine. But don't really get lost. Even if you did…." She paused for a moment and rummaged around her bag again, and handed me something silver and slim; for the second time, something I recognized. A very familiar looking cell phone.

"Here, this is yours, too. Our numbers are already in it. So, I'm going to do some things, and I'll swing by Bellafleur's and pick everything up, and I'll go get the rings, too. Sound good?"

"Sounds great!" I said enthusiastically.

"I do have one assignment for you."

"Uh, oh…"

"Would you buy some books with wedding vows in them? For you and Edward to look at? I think they'll have a great selection. You might be able to find something from the early 1900's. It's one of the items on the list for you and Edward to do."

"I can do that." I was excited to get in the store.

"I'll pick you up in about four hours. See you later, sis." Her smile was absolutely radiant as she spoke the last word.


	7. Chapter 7: Encounter

_I am having so much fun writing this…thank you for your encouragement and for continuing to read it. Now we're getting to the good stuff. Let me know if you agree! _

**Syzygy by twilighterpated**

**Chapter Seven: Encounter**

Stepping from one side of the heavy double doors to the other was like entering a different world. I felt slightly intoxicated – or what I imagined it would feel like, anyway. There was calmness in the air. I felt nurtured just standing there.

I decided to get Alice's assignment out of the way, so I asked a clerk where I could find books with wedding vows. She immediately left her shelving and walked me to the correct section, chatting along the way about what I was looking for, and pulling out three selections when we arrived that she thought might meet my needs. I browsed through them – I had no idea there were so many ways to say "I do" – and chose two. The first listed vows by century, the second by religious traditions.

Lutheran had numerous selections. Vampire actually _was_ listed in the back. It said, "Vampire: see Pagan."

I wonder what Carlisle would say about that.

I put away the third book and turned to try to find my way back to the main part of the store. It was then I saw the flags posted on the top of the bookshelf, the flags used to direct patrons to the correct location. There were three, in alphabetical order. Wedding. Werewolves. Vampires.

I snorted in disbelief. As if I needed any reminders.

Hours later I sighed in contentment and stretched my legs out from the little nook I had curled myself into, one of the many you could find in the wooden walls of the bookstore. I had a pile perched precariously on the strategically positioned little table – its true purpose probably for holding lightweight lattes or teas.

I had wandered for a good hour, becoming more relaxed as each minute ticked by, picking up whatever books caught me eye and traveling in whatever direction I felt pulled in. The store was like a mystery house. There seemed to be no end to its rooms. Certain rows led you to nooks like mine, or around a sudden corner to an entirely new section, or just to a dead end.

I had stared at one dead end for a while, just convinced that if I could pull out the right book, it would open the shelves of books to reveal a hidden tunnel. But though I pulled a few out of their place, no door swung open, no tunnel appeared.

Eventually I was maxed out on the number of books I could carry – which included a Marcus Stone biography – and had landed in the nook, adjusted the convenient overhead lamp, and lost myself in reading for several hours.

I still had a good amount of time before Alice was expected, so I thought I'd pay for the books and maybe grab something to eat at the little café downstairs. Rather, down several sets of stairs.

Now, how to get out of this labyrinth.

After a few false turns and with the aid of signs that appeared as if by magic exactly when I needed them, I was at the register with about half of the books I started out with, those that I felt I just couldn't pass up. I could read them on the honeymoon, I reasoned.

While I was waiting in line I noticed the sign hanging from the ceiling for the "Rare and Out-of-Print" Section, with an arrow pointing toward a staircase more towards the middle of the room.

I mentally added that to the list of sections to explore.

Perhaps I was distracted by thoughts of the new section, but when the clerk at the register told me the total, I just pulled out the card that I could feel sitting in my back pocket, forgetting which card it was, and laid it on the counter. My eyes were still on the sign.

Everything went still around me, so I looked at the clerk.

She was staring at the card. So was the person waiting next in line.

I blushed heartily.

The clerk looked at me with disbelief – which, surprisingly, made me feel a little bit indignant. I straightened and returned her stare.

Then it was her turn to blush. She collected herself, turned and paged overhead for a "Ms. Harrington, courtesy assistance to the front desk, please", then turned back to me. "Thank you for waiting, Ms. Swan. It will be just one moment."

"Uh…is there a problem?" I asked nervously. Maybe you couldn't use that card to buy books? How was I to know?

Her eyes widened slightly. "Oh no, no problem at all. She reached over and turned off the miniature tiffany lamp on the front of the register, used to indicate if a lane was open. "I can help you over here," she instructed the next person in line.

As the line was moving over one lane, another clerk appeared. She glanced swiftly at the card and smiled at me.

"Good evening, Ms. Swan. Were you able to find everything you needed?"

"Probably more than I needed," I admitted.

"Excellent. Ah, yes, the latest Jane mystery. Have you enjoyed the series so far?" and with skill she drew me into an easy conversation about the various books I was buying, suggesting other authors I might enjoy and jotting their names down in a little notebook she had pulled from under the counter.

She handed the card back to me – this time I made sure it went into the wallet, back behind the library card. It struck me that, as in the jewelry store, I was neither told the total nor asked to sign a receipt. I wondered about that.

The clerk pulled a large canvas bag with leather handles from under the counter-it had the store logo on one side- and loaded it up with the books, the little notebook, the pen she had taken out of the drawer at the same time and a few large bookmarks with various charms on the ends of the velvet tassels. She handed me a gift card.

"Please enjoy a treat from our café. We use only local and organic ingredients, and they are made on site daily."

"Thank you. I was, um, actually thinking of heading down there."

"I'd be glad to keep your bag here, and you can pick it up on your way out, if you'd like."

"That would be great." I really didn't want to lug it around with me – I'd probably drop it on my foot and break it and be in a cast for the wedding. Alice would love that.

"Is there anything else at all I can assist you with, Ms. Swan?"

"Actually…." I had already had good luck today. Maybe... I let my gaze stray to the rare sign. "I'm looking for a special gift…"

Her eyes followed mine. "Oh, have you seen our Rare and Out of Print section? It's really wonderful. I'd love to show you personally." She pushed the bag under the counter and headed toward the staircase.

I trailed my hand down the curved railing as we traveled down one floor, careful to make sure I did not slip and fall. The steps creaked as we progressed, the clerk recalling several items that might be of interest to me.

The staircase continued to a lower floor, but we stopped in the middle of it, where it branched off to a level on either side. To the right was marked "employees only". To the left was the Rare and Out of Print section.

"Now, what can I help you find?" she asked.

"Well…" I hesitated. "I'm looking for something special for my…fiancé."

"Congratulations! I'm sure we'll be able to find something suitable. What kind of interests does your fiancé have?"

Blood, I replied in my head. Mine, in particular. But aloud I said, "He is an avid outdoorsman."

"Oh, yes. Wonderful. Let's look over here."

Thirty minutes later, after looking at countless nature books, biographies, autographed picture books, and a John Muir journal reproduction, I had not really found anything that said "Edward."

I suddenly had an idea. How had Alice done it…

I sighed, and tried to imitate her disappointed face. "I'm not really seeing anything that meets my needs."

The clerk looked almost devastated.

"Maybe something more exclusive than what's already out on the floor…" I hinted. "Of course, it would be understandable if you didn't have what I was looking for." Then a flash occurred to me. "He is also an accomplished pianist."

Her eyes widened and lit up. "Oh! What an _amazing_ coincidence. Yes. Right this way."

She took me over to the other side of the staircase and unlocked the door. Contrary to the rainbow of books on the previous floors, the overwhelming majority of books in this room were varying shades of brown. The smell of leather and parchment from the obviously old books and sheaves tickled my nose, like a musky perfume.

"Our buyers just finished cataloging this estate. We are going to present it at a special event in coordination with the Seattle orchestra. The gentleman who it belonged to was quite a patron of ours. I'm sure he could have sold it for much more, but he wanted to support our local, independent bookstore."

She continued with a smile. "He was greatly interested in the Baroque composers, especially Handel, who I'm sure you know composed the timeless 'Water Music' and the eternal 'Hallelujah Chorus.''

I didn't know that, but I nodded, trying to look as if I did.

"As most of the titles and writing are in German, we've taken the liberty of translating the titles. You'll find the title, publisher, year and any other significant information on the gold bookmark in the front of each book. I'm _certain_ we'll be able to find something in this collection, Ms. Swan." she finished.

I felt like she was waiting for some kind of reaction from me. "This is… um...amazing." I tried to sound enthusiastic.

The clerk beamed.

"I…I don't even know where to begin. Would it be possible to just look for a little while?" I asked, totally overwhelmed.

"Absolutely. We only ask that you wear gloves when handling the items-" she walked over to a wooden cabinet and opened a drawer – "I'm sure a small will fit you nicely. I'll check back shortly before closing."

"Thank you so much," I said, taking the gloves.

"It's my pleasure." She grinned. "We pride ourselves in being able to find what the client is looking for."

She left the door slightly ajar and I proceeded to look around the room. It had a small window at one end; of course, it was already dark outside. Cedar bookshelves, more ornate than most in the store, lined the walls.

The section that she had directed me too had a good number of books. I certainly hoped one would just jump out at me, since I had no musical talent to speak of. Each of these books was placed with the front displayed, not stowed sideways in a bookshelf. I picked up the first one.

**_Georg Friedrich Händel. Ein biographischer Roman des Barock._**  
by Eugen Ortner  
München, Piper, **1942.**

Wow. 1942.

**_Georg Friedrich Händel: Sein Leben und seine Werke_**  
August Reißmann.  
Berlin u. Leipzig J. Guttentag. **1882**.

I did a double take. _Eighteen_- eighty two?

_**Der junge Händel: Ein dramatische Spiel**_  
Arnold Schering  
Erben: Breitkopf und Härtel, **1918**

Nineteen-eighteen. Edward would have been seventeen…the year his life was forever changed.

I closed the cover of that one rather abruptly. The books were not grabbing me. I turned to the other wall, lined with music stands. Each stand had an obviously ancient sheave of music on it, covered in plastic, with an information sheet on the front of the plastic. The whole ensemble was tied with a red velvet ribbon.

I looked at the first one.

_**Händel-Handbuch, herausgeben vom Kuratorium der Georg-Friedrich-Händel-Stiftung**_ Volume 2: Oratorios, Cantatas, Sacred works, etc.

There was a small price tag attached to the music stand. Ten thousand dollars.

I suddenly felt dizzy, and leaned against the edge of one of the sturdy bookcases. The scent of cedar filled my nostrils.

What was I doing? Why was I even in this room, looking at music that I couldn't read at prices also beyond my understanding? I had to pretend to even know what "Water Music" was! My life did not include being treated like some V. I. P. This wasn't me.

I stayed there for a moment or two, feeling very tired.

Suddenly, I felt like I was being watched.

I jumped more than just a little as I opened my eyes. My heart started pounding so loud I was sure it was audible outside of my chest.

Sam Uley leaned against the door frame, arms folded across his chest.

The conflict inside me was raging so hard I was sure he could sense it. What was he doing here? How was Jacob? I felt a bit shaken, a little bit confused.

And a new emotion. Fear.

Sam's eyes narrowed. Could he sense that?

"Bella," he said quietly, with his usual calm demeanor.

"Sam," I managed, sounding uncertain at that.

He took a couple of steps into the room, looking at me curiously.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I responded automatically. "What are you doing here?" I blurted out.

He laughed. "Here, as in this room, or here, as in, Seattle?"

"Uh…both." I finished, still a bit confused.

He paused. "I was in Seattle taking care of business for the wedding."

I felt the blood drain from my face. Oh my god. They were going to try to stop our wedding. Did I really believe it was going to be so easy for us?

He must have read my face. "For _our_ wedding. I had some business to take care of for Emily."

"Oh." I gasped. "That's. Great. Congratulations."

"Thank you," he said stiffly.

"And, uh, do you enjoy reading?" I asked, feeling completely unnerved.

He looked at me for a long moment. "I picked up some familiar scents, so I followed them," he paused. "I would never forget your scent, Bella," he finished quietly.

I knew what he was saying. From searching the night I was lost in the woods.

His eyes scanned the room briefly. "But there was more than one of you."

"I'm with Alice. She, uh, had some different errands."

"So you're alone right now?" He had an intense look in his eyes that I didn't like.

"Yes." I said, unable to lie. Why was I afraid? Sam had no reason to hurt me. Did he?

All I could see was the image of the scars. If he changed in the store…there was nowhere to run.

"Good," he said. "I've wanted to talk to you."

"You could have just called me at home."

He gazed at me, curiously. "Do you realize how little you are alone, Bella?"

I just stared at him.

"When you are home, it's when Charlie is home. If Charlie's not home, one of the Cullens is there. If you're not at your house, you're at the Cullen's house, or with one of them."

"I'm not being babysat anymore." I said defensively.

He just raised his eyebrows, and let the evidence hang in the air.

"I just wanted to make sure you could speak…freely," he explained.

Now I was feeling irritated. "I'm not being brainwashed either. What do you want to know?"

He leveled a gaze at me. "Are there more vampires coming?"

I was unsure of what he meant. "More…coming.."

"To Forks," he concluded.

I was confused again. Was he referring to me becoming a vampire? The wedding wasn't in Forks, so... "Uh, not that I know of."

"_Would_ you know?" he asked.

"Yes," I snapped. "I would. Anything else?"

He sighed. "Yes. Emily – I mean, _we_ would like to send you a wedding invitation."

That caught me off guard. "Oh, that's so nice of you." I hesitated. "When is it?"

"The last Friday in August," he said, then added, "Charlie told Billy you aren't leaving for college until September."

Yes, but that's because I'm not really going to college, I thought. Maybe Sam knew college actually started in August? Maybe. At any rate, there went that excuse.

"I'd love to be able to come, but, um…" I wasn't sure how to say it. Sam waited. "I'm not sure Jacob would…I mean, it might make it difficult…" I trailed off at the look on Sam's face.

"We're not expecting Jacob to be there," he said quietly.

My heart started racing – here it was, what I really wanted, information about Jacob.

"But…why?"

He looked away. "Jacob is…gone."

I felt sick again. "What do you mean, gone?"

He shrugged. "He's gone."

"Where is he? How long has he been gone?" I demanded. He seemed awfully unconcerned about this. I felt like I was a few heartbeats away from panic.

"We think Canada," he said. I wondered if he meant him and Emily, or if he was using the pack plural. Then his stare grew more intense. "He left right after he got the wedding invitation."

I wondered what about Sam and Emily getting married bothered Jake so much that he'd have to leave. I knew in my heart of hearts that's what he had wanted for the two of us. Maybe it was just too much to handle.

I felt bad about this.

"I'm sorry your wedding bothered him so much," I mumbled. I didn't really know what to say about it. I just knew that it was my fault, so some kind of apology was necessary.

There was a long moment of silence.

Finally, Sam spoke. "I meant _your_ wedding invitation, Bella." He was looking at me with a curious expression on his face.

I stared back at him, feeling dumb. The information clicked slowly in my brain.

Jacob was gone. No one knew where. He could be dead, for all we knew.

Dead. I felt an icy trickle in my chest.

And he had left after he received…

"I…I didn't send him a wedding invitation," I said plaintively.

"No," said Sam slowly. "_You_ didn't."

Slowly, ever so slowly it started to make sense. I had left Jacob off the list, on purpose, for his sake and for mine. But despite my decision, someone had sent him one…

Edward.

Did Edward know this would be Jacob's response? That he would run, run from the pain that I was causing him? Did he want him to run, so that he would be _alone,_ away from the pack?

My heart almost stopped.

Is that why they were all gone– all of them, except Alice? Edward had said they didn't know where they were hunting, when I'd asked him.

I couldn't breathe. No, I thought. No. He wouldn't…he wouldn't…

"So it would be fine for you to be there," Sam was watching me closely. There was a slight emphasis on the "you".

I waited. My mind was still racing. Surely Edward wasn't jealous enough…I'd made it clear enough…

"So we hope you can come." Sam said. Again, the slight inflection on "you".

I finally got what he was trying to say. I was invited, but Edward was not. Despite my current state of mind, it still offended me.

"So I'm invited, but not my husband?" I clarified.

"The wedding is on _Quileute_ land. It's part of the treaty." he shrugged.

"Forget the treaty," I hissed, suddenly angry. "It's not written in stone."

"Forget the treaty?" Sam repeated quietly, his eyes flashing. "Forget the reason for why I am what I am? Forget the rules that have kept us _all_ alive for the last 70 years? Perhaps it's easy for you to toss it aside, Bella, but I live with the consequences of it _every single day_."

His voice had taken on a hard edge. He had taken a step closer. I couldn't tell, but were his hands shaking? Sam had the best control of them all, but still…

A picture of Emily came to mind, unbidden, and again I was filled with fear.

"I'm…I'm sorry Sam, I didn't mean to upset you." My voice was shaky.

He took another step closer, towering over at me, peering at me. "Are you afraid, Bella?" he asked quietly.

I didn't answer. I knew my voice would give me away.

He stared at me for a long time. "What have they done to you?"

"Nothing," I said, as firmly as I could, the anger escalating again. "It's not some sort of…of cult. Unlike the pack, I can still think for myself." I said acidly. "And I think it's time for you to go, because Alice will be here any second to pick me up, and it might be breaking the _treaty_ for you to be in the same _room_." My emotions were wound up tight.

He continued to stare at me, his eyes probing mine, asking questions. I returned his stare, trying hard to not break eye contact.

"You didn't used to be afraid of us," he said quietly. Then he turned left the room as silently as he came.


	8. Chapter 8 : Secrets

Chapter 8 : Secrets

_Chapter 9 is in final edit…chapter 10 is almost done and chapters 11, 12 and 13 are done and ready to go. __**Thanks**__ to everyone who is reading…your encouragement and kind words keep me going! _

**Syzygy by twilighterpated**

**Chapter 8 : Secrets**

My body was exhausted, but my mind was in turmoil.

After Sam disappeared, I left the room immediately, not wanting Alice to find me there and sniff out my unexpected visitor. In fact, I didn't want her wandering around the store at all lest she come across Sam's trail. I retrieved my bag, found the clerk and begged off of any more shopping because of fatigue.

I must have looked the part, because she didn't push me. I sat in one of the oversized lounge chairs by the front doors, watching carefully for Alice's return.

But even that didn't reassure me, since it was so dark and my vision poor regardless. What if I didn't see her until she came inside? I got up and moved to a bench outside.

How different the square looked. The night life was in full swing. Apparently it had not rained while I was in the bookstore, since the street was dry. Strings of lights glittered in the trees. I could hear varying styles of music competing for attention from opposite directions. Across the way people lounged outside of an obviously popular small restaurant, sitting on the rock wall that held back the raised beds of shrubs and flowers. The red and white lights in the trees cast odd shadows on their features.

Behind them, so large that I can't believe I didn't notice it earlier, was a Native American totem pole. An _enormous_ totem pole.

The face in the middle was eerie. The rings around the eyes gave it a jester like appearance, and the nose was like a hooked beak, like an eagle. It seemed to be mocking me with its unblinking stare. Where was Jacob? it asked.

I don't know, I silently replied.

My head started to hurt. It was really late, and we still had 4 hours to drive home – well, three, the way Alice drove. We wouldn't get home until one or so. I needed to pull it together for the ride home.

Either my acting was improving, or Alice was so caught up in the success of the day that she didn't see through my fake enthusiasm. I made sure I laughed about my reluctance to shop, giggled about Edward's reaction to my lingerie, sighed about finding the ring and poured on the thanks for my time in the bookstore.

It took a lot of effort.

Eventually it subsided into Alice doing most of the talking. My thoughts were split between my conversation with Sam and trying to pay attention to Alice's chatter so I could add the appropriate "hmmm" or "yeah" at the right time.

Finally at midnight I felt like I could plead exhaustion without raising suspicion. I leaned back against the seat and pretended to drift to sleep. But my mind was racing as fast as the Porsche.

Why had he asked if more vampires were coming to Forks? I guess he really _couldn't_ ask me about vampires over the phone when Charlie was home. What was he trying to insinuate about the fact that I was never alone?

Wait. How would he _know_ I was never alone…unless they were watching me? Watching me, like they thought the Cullens were?

I shivered.

"Cold?" Alice whispered.

I shook my head.

Why hadn't they sent someone after Jacob to bring him back? I cringed slightly as I remembered the time _I_ had sent someone to bring Jacob back…and all the disastrous consequences that had resulted

"Alice," I mumbled, after several minutes of silence passed. "Where did you say they went hunting?"

"Why do you want to know?" she queried. I kept my eyes closed, but I could hear the evasiveness in her voice.

"Just curious." I yawned, for real.

"Oh, I don't know. I have other things on my mind. Up north, I think." She answered a bit flippantly.

"Hmm," was my only vocal response.

How far up north? I wondered. Like, Canada?

"Will they be back when we get home?" I pressed. That might help me figure out how far away they were.

She snorted. "_Edward_ will be, no doubt."

Why? I wondered. So I wouldn't be suspicious? So everyone else could finish the job?

Calm down, I told myself. You're just tired. It's making your imagination go into overdrive.

My questions started Alice's chatter up again. Or else she was trying to change the subject.

"I can't believe everything is so close!" Alice gushed. "You and Edward have to read the vow books tomorrow. That _has_ to get done before things get _really_ busy with the Denali coven."

"Wait - what about Denali?" I was wide awake at once, my nap on hiatus.

She rolled her eyes. "What do you mean, what about Denali?"

"Right, just that," I replied. "What about them?"

She looked at me funny. "Nothing about them, just that they arrive on Monday, and it will be really busy with extra people around."

I didn't reply. More vampires. In Forks.

"Bella?" Alice looked at me much longer than she should have taken her eyes off the road at the speed she was driving.

"I – I didn't know they were coming." I replied quietly.

"Bella, you knew I sent an invitation! You saw the guest list." Alice defended herself.

"No, I know. I meant I didn't know they were coming early. To Forks. I thought they'd just go to Port Angeles." I'd been told that Alice had rented something near Port Angeles for the wedding.

"I _told_ Edward to tell you!" She sounded confused, a rare occurrence. "He must have forgotten. Or…" she didn't finish her sentence.

"No big deal," I replied with a shrug. I turned away from her and looked out the dark window, only barely able to see the shadows of trees as we flashed by. I knew she'd be able to read my emotions on my face.

Edward hadn't told me they were coming early. He hadn't told me where they where going hunting. He hadn't told me that he sent a wedding invitation to Jacob.

What else wasn't he telling me?

"The whole coven isn't coming," Alice explained. "Tanya and Kate are, definitely. Irina and Carmen are not. Eleazor hasn't decided yet."

That's another thing. He never really told me everything about Tanya.

"But, it will be nice to have the extra help during the last week. Things always come up at the last minute."

I turned back to her. "The last week?"

"Bella!" She sounded exasperated. "Today _is_ the fifth! Actually, now it's the sixth," she clarified, glancing at the dashboard clock.

"It is?" I asked, numbly.

"I swear, Bella, you'd miss your own wedding, with how you lose track of the date," she said in a grumbling tone.

The feeling of exhaustion flowed back swiftly. I let my head fall back with an authentic thump on the headrest. A week. In a week – no, less than a week - I would be married.

My thoughts were blank for the rest of the ride home.

Edward came out of the shadows when we pulled up. He took one look at me, glared at Alice and then scooped me up. There seemed to be a bit of tension between them.

Or maybe it was the tension that I was feeling.

He headed toward the door.

"Charlie-" I whispered.

"Won't hear a thing. He's already sound asleep. Like you should be." He said all this in a strained sort of voice.

The comment irritated me greatly.

"Put me down, Edward," I glared at him.

He stopped in his tracks, his eyes looking into mine, confused. We were already at the foot of the stairs.

"I can walk. I'm not a baby." I grumbled.

Rather abruptly, he set me down and took a step back. I grabbed the wall for some support, and carefully went up the stairs, not hearing if Edward was coming up behind me or not, but refusing to turn and let myself look.

Charlie was snoring, as Edward said. At least _he_ was letting me act like an adult now, an almost – married, almost – nineteen year old. Apparently, he didn't even feel the need to try to wait up for me.

Edward sat silently as I gathered things I needed for the bathroom. I could feel his eyes following me around the room, but I couldn't meet them. They would confuse me. And I needed to think about some things without being more confused.

"You're in a daze," Edward said softly. "No more late nights for you."

"I think I can decide that for myself," I snapped.

He looked at me, a strange expression coming over his finely chiseled features.

I went to brush my teeth.

Clearing my face of the grime also helped clear my head. I realized, then, that what I took as some kind of paternalistic edict really could have been a joke. Maybe he had only been teasing.

I sighed. Or maybe not.

When I came back he was no longer sitting, but leaning against the wall, arms crossed. I glanced at his face. It was fairly expressionless. I turned out the light and groped my way to the bed, pretty much falling onto it.

I didn't hear Edward cross the room, but I could feel his cool breath flowing from the edge of the bed, and feel his fingers stroking my hair.

"Rough day?" he asked.

"No, not really," I lied. "I am exhausted, though."

"You look it."

"Wow. Thanks for the compliment."

His hands stopped playing with my hair. My sarcasm hung in the air, making it slightly toxic.

I couldn't see his face very well in the dark, but I could picture it in my mind; head turned slightly, eyes probing my face to see what he could read in it.

Speaking of his eyes, I realized with a start that they were not nearly as light as I would have expected them to be for a full day of real hunting. Maybe because he was only hunting for one thing. I sighed yet again.

"Not much luck today, hmmm?" I asked.

He seemed to hesitate. "What do you mean?"

"Didn't you find what you wanted? Or, were there just too many of you, and you had to share?"

I tried to minimize the sarcasm, since I really did want the answer.

I saw the movement of his shoulders and interpreted it as a shrug. "I found what I expected to find." He seemed unwilling to volunteer any more information.

I struggled inside. Part of me wanted to demand to know what was going on. I wish he could read my mind; he could answer the questions that screamed inside my head.

"Sleep, Bella," he said quietly. "We have all day together tomorrow to talk."

He kissed my forehead, his cool lips bringing relief like they always did. The soft strains of my lullaby floated through the air to my troubled brain, and I drifted to sleep.

It was hot.

The summer air was mostly still. The occasional breezes that drifted through the lea were welcomed with eagerness, providing bits of relief from the heat.

I sat in the chair, absorbed in a book, occasionally distracted by the breeze or by the need to adjust the long skirt of my dress. It was a light material, but sticky if left against my legs for too long.

The heat seemed to intensify for a moment. Without putting down the book I absentmindedly reached over for my fan.

Maybe because my attention was diverted for just a moment my subconscious was able to communicate to me. You are being watched, it told me.

I glanced up toward the break in the trees.

Two men were over by the large fountain. Even though it was summer, their skin was darker than any field laborer. The young man's hair was impossibly black, a raven-haired beauty. The old man's was likewise pulled back at his nape, and I could see the remnants of the same black hair, now sanded with time.

It was Jacob standing straight and tall. Hobbling next to him was Billy Black.

They were both staring in my direction.

The young man's gaze was so intense across the space, so intimate, that I felt myself blushing in response to his unasked questions, and I had to drop my eyes. The old man seemed to be looking beyond me, to the trees that lined the perimeter of the small meadow.

I risked a glance back at the young man. He abruptly stiffened, his gaze now following the same path as the older man's.

They both started to shake. Quiver, more like it.

The back of my exposed neck was suddenly cold. Like when you lick your finger to tell which way the breeze is blowing, my body told me that the impossibly icy breeze I was now feeling was from the forest behind me.

I turned slowly.

Edward stood in the dark shadows of the trees.

Without speaking, he bid me to come to him, and I stood to obey.

But I felt afraid.

I heard a low rumbling sound from the direction of the fountain, and I turned to see two enormous monsters, one large and brown, one smaller and covered in salt and pepper. They were crouched in tandem, readying to leap in my direction. A rustle of leaves turned me back to Edward, who stepped into the sun.

I was blinded by the prisms he threw into the air. I could hear all of them rushing toward me, but couldn't see anything.

With my heart pounding, I realized I didn't know who was coming to hurt me…and who to save.


	9. Chapter 9 : War

Chapter 9: War

_**Thanks**__ for continuing to read my version of Stephenie Meyer's amazing universe with her rich characters… thanks for the reviews…thanks for the encouragement! Chapter 10 is in final edit and then 10, 11, 12 and 13 will all come up together. I hope you'll love them! _

**Chapter 9: War**

I woke with a start, my heart still pounding, my eyes still blinded, this time by the sun that was streaming into my bedroom.

It was just a dream, I reminded myself. Because of staring at that picture too long.

I hadn't had a nightmare in so long that my heart was out of shape in its ability to regulate its rate. I lay in bed, willing it to decelerate.

Edward was gone.

No wonder I had been vulnerable to a bad dream.

I did feel a bit of remorse over how I treated him last night, but, in a way, was glad to have some time to myself. Charlie's snores had ceased and I didn't hear him clomping around the house. So I really was alone, barring any mythical creatures spying on me.

It was terrifically bright out, but since my clock was covered by an errantly tossed t-shirt I couldn't tell exactly what time it was.

Time for me to figure this out.

I rolled over to the wall to get my eyes out of the sunlight.

This was not an Edward-versus-Jacob issue, I realized after just a short amount of thought. As much as I wanted information from Sam, as much as I was distressed about Jacob's flight – and I was very distressed over it – I was not making a choice between the two of them. That choice had already been made. The morning shed light revealed how crazy my thoughts had been during the drive home. Edward would not hurt Jacob.

I was _almost_ one hundred percent sure on that.

No, this was an Edward-versus-Bella issue, I concluded.

Hiding things from me was Edward's pattern. It had been from the beginning. He hid Victoria's return – flew me all the way to Florida to cover that up. He hid Paul and Emmett's fight. He hid his reason for leaving me. He hid that my hand-me-down crystal was really a diamond. He hid Tanya's arrival. And I still couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't getting the whole truth about yesterday. He was hiding things from me now.

I understood that he did it out of concern for my feelings. But still, he was deciding for me what I could handle and what I couldn't.

I didn't like that. It made me feel uneasy. My whole-hearted trust felt like it had taken one in the gut.

But to have him send an invitation to Jacob after my expressed opinion about keeping him off of the guest list…well, that made me angry. It reeked of an "I know what's better for you than you do" kind of attitude – one that parents pulled on their children, not how two equal adults should communicate.

That was the problem. It had been from the beginning.

We were so unequal.

No, I mused, that was not quite it. I had already come to terms with that, with Edward's unreasonable love for me.

So what was it?

I reviewed yesterday in my head. The shopping. The card. The pretense at the bookstore, with the clerk and with Sam. My internal response to the information that the Denali clan was coming early.

Belonging, I answered myself. I would never belong. Even after I was changed, I wouldn't belong. I didn't know how to use props. I was a horrible liar. I was neither brilliant nor beautiful, and I didn't think immortality will change either of those.

I would always be on the outs.

And worse than that, my mere presence forced out other people who did belong. Jacob belonged with his tribe, but was gone because of me. Emmett and Rosalie belonged with the Cullens, but would leave because of me. The Cullens belonged here in Forks, and would be able to stay, but for me joining their family.

I threw the pillow over my head, as if the pressure of it could ease some of the pounding in my brain.

It wasn't right that I was destroying families. Was it some kind of curse that I brought with me, since my own family had been destroyed? I snorted under the pillowcase. With my luck, that would be my vampire talent. Making people leave.

No, none of that was my decision. That had been all Charlie and Renee. I couldn't do anything about it.

Nor could I do anything about any of these other people leaving. I flopped onto my back, now staring up into the ceiling. Being with Edward was the non-negotiable. For both of us. Even if I wouldn't ever belong. If Edward wanted someone who would have easily fit in with the vampire lifestyle, well… there were many beautiful, talented female vampires eager to fill that role.

I cringed. Ouch. That hurt.

But, it was true. I could deal with truth. But silence, hiding things…that made me nervous.

I recalled what Edward had told me after I'd guessed Rosalie's plans to leave - I couldn't take responsibility for other's decisions.

I could take responsibility for my decisions, though. My irritation surfaced anew as I thought of how much Edward was hiding from me. A lifetime – no, an eternity - of being treated like a baby was not what I wanted for our relationship. Better to take care of it now.

The phone rang while I was in the kitchen debating if I should eat breakfast or lunch, since it was so late in the morning.

"Hey kid," Charlie greeted me. "How was your trip?"

I made a face. "It was terrible, Dad. Alice made me shop until I could barely walk."

He laughed. "Oh c'mon, it couldn't have been that bad."

"Well, she did let me go to a bookstore – but only at the end," I grumbled.

The bookstore made me remember my encounter with Sam.

"Hey," I said urgently. "Did you know Jacob was gone?"

There was quite the pause at the other end of the line. "Yes, Billy mentioned something about that." He said it with a dose of caution.

"What exactly did he say?" I pushed.

"He said he was running around with cousins in Canada."

I stared at Charlie through the phone. The irony of the words escaped him, but they certainly didn't escape me. "Running around with cousins…" This gave a new definition to stretching the truth.

"Do you know why he left?"

I heard him sigh. "Well, seems he took the news of you and Edward pretty hard. It's for the best, I'd say."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked in disbelief.

"Why _would_ I tell you, Bella?" he returned. "Why upset you? It's not your problem."

"Well, because Jacob was my friend." I cringed as past tense slipped passed my lips. "And, the Blacks are _practically_ family." I tried to use his words against him.

It didn't work. "Yes, but Edward _is_ family now. There's no reason to bring up things that could be upsetting. It's all outside of our control, anyway. There's nothing we can do about it. Listen, I gotta go. I just wanted to check in with you. Later, okay?"

"Bye." I hung up the phone, a new layer of irritation settling in. Was there no one keeping secrets from me these days?

Minutes later the sting from Charlie knowing about Jacob was still fresh. I was mulling it over while finishing up cold pizza. It was leftover from Charlie's non-attempt at feeding himself, I was sure. The milk glass was settling down into the sudsy water in the sink when I heard a familiar sounding car pull up. The knocks on the door that followed were sharp and urgent. I hurried to pull it open to see Edward eyeing the sky anxiously as he stood on the porch.

"Sorry I'm late," he murmured as he slid past me. "I had to wait for a little cloud cover. Pretty bright out there today."

Why was he knocking at the door? He always came in through my window. He reached over my head and pushed the door closed, bending down to give me a quick kiss at the same time.

It was a briefer kiss than I prepared for; Edward pulled away quickly. I felt a bit like I was dangling.

He felt distant.

My stomach tightened slightly.

"Where did you go?" I asked

Now it was his turn this morning to not meet my gaze. "It looked like you would be sleeping in, so I went to go talk to Alice. I wanted to get there before the sun got too bright."

"Oh," I said, following him to the kitchen. He leaned against the wall, and I returned to the sink with the few breakfast dishes in it. "So," I said, trying to sound disinterested, "what did Alice say?"

He shrugged. "Nothing. She wasn't there. But she left me a note and your shoulder bag that we forgot in the car last night. Apparently we have some homework to do today?"

"That's right," I agreed. The vows.

He studied me, taking in my low enthusiasm level.

"I was thinking a trip to the meadow might be in order. Perhaps you'd enjoy the sun?"

He asked it quizzically, as if he was unsure of my response.

"Sounds good to me," I replied. "Let me just get some things together." Like my wits, I added silently.

"I'll have to drive. Hope that's okay." Again, a cautious tone I picked up on. It was making me nervous.

"No, that's fine. I understand, the sun and everything." Everything, indeed.

It was nice to be in the meadow, but even the warm rays of the sun couldn't melt the sharp edginess I felt inside. I needed to bring up the issues I wanted to discuss, but couldn't seem to get started.

We lay on the ground strategically positioned in the shade so I wouldn't burn and he wouldn't sparkle, each with a wedding vow book, looking through them and reading aloud ones that caught our attention.

So far, I had read none.

Edward had made half a dozen suggestions. I had dismissed them quickly for one reason or another. He was valiant in trying.

How about this – 'As we grow throughout the seasons of life, I promise to-"

"Except that I won't be growing."

"It doesn't have to mean only physical growth," he pointed out.

I stayed silent, unwilling to acknowledge that he was right.

He tried again. "While living in the bonds of love, let nothing …"

"Bonds of love. Sounds too much like bondage. Eww."

I heard several pages turning.

"Well, what about the standard traditional ones? I will love, honor and obey for as long…"

I cut him off again. "No way. I definitely don't want to say 'obey'."

He snapped the book shut with one hand, using a bit more force than necessary. I felt a slight wisp of a breeze from the action. He blew out a short breath.

"Well, what _do_ you want to say, Bella?" His voice was a bit on the sharp side.

I closed my eyes. There was my cue, as plain as could be.

"I want to say… that…" I opened my eyes and blurted it out. "I want to say that I don't like it that you hide things from me."

There was a very long pause while he regarded me coolly. "What I meant was, what did you want to say in the _vows_," he said carefully, "but it sounds like we have some other things to discuss first."

He put the book down carefully, looked up at me with unreadable eyes and waited. His face was very composed.

I looked down and fingered the book in my hand nervously. No soothing words or attempts to prompt me came from his beautiful lips. No efforts to dazzle me into giving up my thoughts.

Oh how I wished in that moment I could read his thoughts. Why was he so distant today? So closed off?

I took a deep breath.

"I.. I know you've been hiding some things from me, Edward. I know you're trying to protect me or whatever, or you think I can't handle it. But you're hurting me when you do that."

I risked a glance. His eyes had narrowed slightly, but he didn't deny it.

"I feel like I'm turning into someone I'm not. Like there's a certain way I have to act in order to fit it."

He looked at me steadily. "I'm sorry that you feel that way, but _I_ have never asked you to be anyone but who you are."

I knew what he was insinuating, and chose to stay on topic. "But it's a subtle pressure. Like the credit card. I don't want people to treat me differently because I lay a black card on the counter, because they think I'm some rich person. That's not who I am."

There was a pause. "But the fact is you will be rich. Because what's mine is yours. _All_ of what's mine. Even the parts you don't care for."

I felt frustrated that he had a valid counter for every point that I was bringing up. Without warning, tears sprang to my lids, and the fact that I couldn't control them just served to make me angry.

He tilted my chin up with a cool finger – a movement he'd done a hundred times – to look into my eyes. The movement made the tears change course and run down the side of my face, tickling my ear.

This time his voice was gentle.

"Maybe you're not as ready as you think you are. Maybe…" he paused, his voice very quiet, "…maybe you're having second thoughts."

Even those words sounded paternalistic, as if I couldn't even figure out what I wanted.

At that moment, I felt like a big failure. Why would he want to be with someone like me? Maybe it was all becoming clear to him that I _wouldn't_ fit it. I didn't doubt his love for me. But that didn't mean he couldn't second guess having to spend _eternity_ with me.

"Maybe _you're_ the one having second thoughts," I shot back, voice quavering.

He dropped his finger and sat up ramrod straight, nostrils flaring with the breath he sucked in.

He stood with a swift movement and walked away in a blur, stopping at the other end of the field, his back to me.

This was not going like I had planned.

The minutes stretched to the breaking point. I didn't think he would appreciate being approached at the moment. I certainly didn't even know what to say to make the situation better. But the longer he stayed away, the more my emotional scale tipped toward panic. I must have been right.

I put my head down on my bent knees, wrapping my arms around my legs and let the tears fall unchecked. Last week I wasn't confused, but this week I was. Last week the plan was easy. This week it seemed hard.

Was I the one making it so much harder than it needed to be?

"I'm sorry Edw-"

"No," he said softly, before I even finished the sentence. "I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. It wasn't kind of me to walk away. I needed to think for a minute." I looked up into a softer expression on his face, him kneeling beside me. I hadn't even heard his return. His hands gently broke the clasp of mine and held them in his.

"And you're right. I have hid some things from you. I'd like the opportunity to explain myself. But I want to clarify something more pressing first."

He took a deep breath.

I _stopped_ breathing.

"Bella, I am not having second thoughts." He briefly smiled a wry smile – the first smile I'd seen all day. "I'm having my about my two millionth thought about all this…but not about you. Not about us." Tension that I wasn't even aware of slid off of my body. Obviously I had been more worried about that than I realized.

"However, if _you_ are having second thoughts…if you don't want things to proceed as planned, you only have to say so. I'll never leave you, as long as you bid me stay."

"Edward," I whispered. "I'm not having any second thoughts. The only thing I was trying to say is that I don't want you to hide things from me. And that I'm mad you sent Jacob a wedding invitation. That's all."

He didn't even ask about how I found about the invitation, but just asked a simple question.

"That's all?"

"I think so, but I'm not thinking very clearly right now."

"There's nothing else?"

I just shook my head.

His gaze intensified. "Well, not hiding things, don't you think it works both ways?"

I gulped. I had only been thinking of him hiding things from me. Of course now I would need to confess about the meeting with Sam. I couldn't hide things from him, either.

"What – what do you mean?" I answered cautiously.

He let go of one of my hands, closed his eyes, and rubbed his forehead, a sure sign of stress. What was he worried about?

He sighed. "Bella, why are you not wearing your wedding ring?"

I started, and glanced down at my barren left hand, then up into Edward's pleading eyes.

I had completely forgotten about the ring. It was most likely in my messenger bag that Edward picked up for me this morning, sitting next to me innocently on the blanket.

This was the source of the caution and the hesitancy I was picking up. This, not anything to do with second thoughts or Tanya or anything else.

I was flooded with relief and threw my arms around his neck, unabashedly kissing every inch of cool skin I could find.

"Edward! How could you even think for a minute that I would break it off?"

His strong arms held me away from his body, his face confused. "So…the wedding isn't off? I thought...when I couldn't find Alice…and how you were acting…" his voice trailed off.

Now I was laughing and crying at the same time, shaking my head, and asked again, this time in a whisper, "How could you even think that?"

"What was I supposed to think?" he responded. "I know you don't believe this, Bella, but it's all there…the jealousy, insecurity, fear…it's all inside of me, too." He tried another smile. "I guess we're both entirely human in that way. And last night…well, you said Jacob's name so many times, over and over again. It's been a long time since that's happened. I couldn't stand another minute of it. I had to leave and find Alice to figure out what was going on."

I leaned into him, back in his arms where I was meant to be. "I'm sorry about that, too. I'll tell you why."

He sighed, with obvious relief, and pulled me down onto the blanket with me snuggled in the crook of his arm. "Bella, let's talk."

Hours later the tension between us had cleared. We'd had to reposition the blanket several times to avoid the creeping sun.

There had been a lot to discuss. Jacob, Sam, the invitation, secrets, Tanya…all fair game.

And on Edward's left hand was a warm, sparkling ring. He would hold it up to gaze at it every ten minutes or so. His pleasure was obvious. He refused to take it off.

"After all, I am as equally betrothed as you are," he reasoned.

"And that way I can't lose it," I grinned at him.

"A devious plan, but that would not stop the wedding," he mused. "And speaking of that, and since we're being so honest today, I have something else to say."

I waited, but without fear.

"Do you have any idea how it makes me feel that you've shown so little interest in our wedding? That it brings you no joy whatsoever?"

Actually, no. I had been so caught up in my own issues about marriage, I really hadn't thought how my sour and resistant attitude affected Edward.

How insensitive of me.

"Another thing for me to say sorry for." I sighed.

"Well, I'm winning that contest today," he countered. "I really was willing to take you to Vegas. But since you gave in to Alice, I have been excited, and I feel like I haven't been able to show it. I feel like I'm torturing you. And that's not supposed to come until much _after_ the wedding." He grinned.

"Edward, what does it mean to you to be married?" The question came out suddenly, on it's own.

He rolled up on one elbow, looking down at me, eyes smoldering. "It's mystical to me. It means that we're one. That there are no secrets between us. That I'll be with you forever, no matter what happens, I'll never leave you. It means that we're choosing to accept each other completely – _everything_, the good, the bad, the parts that need refining – we're committed to working through it _together_, even really bad days like today."

He started tracing cool patterns on my arm. "It means all of me…" - he leaned down and kissed me – "exists for all of you."

His kisses left me gasping. "And we can have sex." I added, as soon as could breathe.

"Yes," he murmured. "That _is_ quite the delightful, indescribable bonus. And it's only six more days, which is only 144 hours, which is only 8640 seconds – not that I'm counting."

I laughed, and he joined in.

"So, another question," I started, before he distracted me with more kisses, "Where were you yesterday? Since you weren't hunting Jacob."

"Well, I did hunt a little. But mostly I was at the lodge."

I was confused. "What lodge?"

He grinned. "The lodge where we'll be getting married."

I guess I really hadn't been paying attention to the wedding details. "What?"

Edward sighed. "It's been driving me crazy, trying to remember what you do know and what I'm supposed to be keeping a surprise. We rented a lodge for the month of August. It's right outside the northern edge of the Olympic national forest, before you reach Port Angeles."

"I've never heard of a lodge there."

"Not many people have. It's privately owned. Someone in Norway, I think."

I let that sink into my head. "You rented the whole lodge? For the whole month?" I asked in disbelief.

"We needed the extra time to bring it up to Alice's standards. It's a nice place, but she had a specific picture of what she wanted. She's working all of us like slaves, every waking moment."

"Ha, ha," I allowed for his joke.

"You and I will be honeymooning there, too. It's not the honeymoon I wanted to give you, but it did seem the most prudent decision. I didn't want to take you too far away lest we have some unexpected 'visitors'." He grimaced slightly at the word. "Besides, it's a great excuse to give you a second honeymoon at a later time." He grinned at the idea.

"Okay," I said. "Tell me everything about the wedding, everything that I should already know, but don't. I'm beginning to get quite interested, actually," I admitted with only a little reluctance.

"Guess the honeymoon part piqued your interest," he laughed. "I'll tell you everything. And I'm going to have a talk with Alice," he said firmly. "No more surprises. No more secrets."


	10. Chapter 10: Vows

Chapter 10: Vows

_I know everyone has her own idea of how the wedding goes. Hope you enjoy mine. I certainly enjoyed writing it! Thanks, Stephenie Meyer, for this beautiful couple. _

Chapter 10: Vows

The last week, a bit to my surprise, was incredibly fun. I wasn't even faking the excitement I felt as the big day got closer. And the more I relaxed and enjoyed myself, the more Edward did, too.

The air between us was clear; we could breathe in each other's contentment and love. It radiated off of us, I think, or maybe there was another reason why Esme sighed with delight every time she walked by us.

"Look at the two of you," she said, with the trademark sigh. "You are positively glowing!"

Alice had been waiting when Edward had gone to talk to her, her foresight giving her the topic of conversation. During the brief talk she and I had afterwards, she had apologized for keeping so many things a secret. She had been afraid I would veto her elaborate plans so she'd sworn everyone to secrecy. I had apologized for not being more involved and more enthused.

"But you know Bella, it's only because we love and adore you so much that we kept things from you," she confessed guiltily. "We do have a few hundred years more experience in certain areas."

"I'll try to accept that better in the future," I conceded. "But maybe you could turn down the adoration a little."

So my squeals of excitement were authentic when I met Renee at the airport on Friday. I even consented with good grace to take Edward's car, and he had consented with only brief objection, to me going alone to pick her up. Whether or not he ran alongside me, I didn't know. If he chose to do that, it was his decision.

My purgatory from Renee had been short-lived, much shorter than expected. Only two weeks of lectures and e-mails had ensued after I had given her the news. The way she acted now, you'd think it had been her idea from the beginning.

"I just had a feeling about you two – and I told you, remember? When you visited in Florida? I had a feeling I was meeting my future son-in-law." She sounded a bit awed with herself. "I knew it was right; it had fate written all over it. And Bella," her voice dropped to a whisper, "he is so handsome!" She raised her eyes and nudged me with her elbow.

I giggled along with her. She had never even mentioned the word pregnant in her interrogations. At least someone had some faith in me. Although, I grudgingly admitted to myself, that credit really did belong to Edward.

The mood of celebration was contagious the night of the rehearsal. Both Charlie and Renee behaved themselves – how much Jasper's calming influence had to do with that, I didn't know. Even Rosalie was warm and happy, smiling more than I had ever seen her smile, her beauty made even more apparent. I had only recently learned of her photography skills and that she would be our photographer; the same time, in fact that I learned Emmett was going to be the disc jockey, when Edward had fed me all of the information I had been missing.

Alice had truly outdone herself. The smaller meeting room of the ground floor of the lodge had been transformed into an early 20th century chapel, complete with archways and statues of seraphim in the corners. I swear, each time I looked at the ceiling I expected to see that she'd added Michelangelo's paintings from the Sistine chapel. But our ceiling had been transformed into the sky, with thousands of dainty twinkling lights strung along the bow shaped supports.

Emmett had fun with the music during the rehearsal.

Edward, escorting Esme, and Carlisle escorting my mom, walked down with the strains of "what the world needs now, is love, sweet love," lingering in the air. I knew that one was played in Esme's honor.

U2's "She moves in mysterious ways" played as Alice darted back from arranging where Carlisle and Edward were to stand and then sashayed down the aisle. No one needed to correct where she stood, of course.

"Bells, we're up to bat." Charlie grinned at me when it was our turn, and offered his arm exactly how Alice had instructed him, shoulder relaxed, arm bent at the elbow, palm flat and placed right over his belly button.

Instead of Bella's lullaby coming on as we were walking down the aisle, Emmett "accidentally" put on a funeral dirge, causing Renee to laugh until she cried. Then we all had to wait for her to clear the mascara from under her eyes in the bathroom.

Of course, Jasper pretended he had lost the ring, causing Edward to level several threats at him about not doing that tomorrow.

Alice's face was serene. "Don't worry. He won't," she assured Edward. Whether she could see it, or whether Jasper was under threat, I didn't know.

The mood became serious as Carlisle started our vows.

"I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen…" began Carlisle.

"I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen…" Edward repeated,

Take you Isabella, to be my wedded wife…"

Edward again repeated, but both of us with confusion, as these were not the vows we had given to him…

"I promise to cherish you, protect you, and bring you breakfast in bed," continued Carlisle solemnly.

Our small audience broke into laughter. Edward grinned and repeated the words with enthusiasm.

"Always massage your feet without complaining,"

Edward repeated, still grinning.

"And I'll love you forever, even if you turned into a vampire." Carlisle's mouth twitched at the corners.

There was raucous laughter from the whole crowd.

Vampire and humans laughed together, but only the vampires knew it wasn't entirely a joke. Edward was the only one not smiling. I quenched my laughter out of respect to him, but couldn't suppress the smile – he tightened his grip on my hand, and repeated it with a straight face.

Carlisle turned to me.

Uh oh. I didn't know what was coming.

"I, Isabella Marie Swan, promise to love and honor you…" Carlisle began.

"I, Isabella Marie Swan, promise to love and honor you…" I dutifully repeated.

"And let you go hunting once a month,"

That one was easy to repeat.

"And let you buy me a new car every year without complaining…"

Uh oh. New laughter erupted from the audience.

"and let you buy me a new car every year," I said unwillingly.

"_without_ _complaining_.." Carlisle repeated

I gritted my teeth "without complaining…" Edward laughed along with the rest of them.

The only part of the evening that was _not_ fun was when Alice told the men it was time to leave.

All the ladies were staying on the second floor of the lodge. The guys were staying at the Cullen's home. Supposedly.

We'd gathered in the large living area in the middle of the second floor.

"And if you even set foot on these grounds before four o'clock tomorrow, I will personally go out of my way to make your life miserable for years. And I can _see_ just how to do it," she said, with the emphasis on see, just to get her point across.

Oooo, scary," Emmett scoffed.

Edward let his eyes leave mine for just a moment to grin at Alice. "You're sure you can be away from Jasper that long?"

Alice smiled. "I didn't say that I couldn't go off the property. Just that you can't come on it. But before you leave, I do have one thing to show you, so say good night and come on."

"You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating," he commented, tightening his arms around me just slightly, enough to pull me over to a slightly more private area.

"I'll be counting the minutes until I see you tomorrow," he whispered, cool fingers trailing down my face and coming to rest under my chin, cupping it in a gentle hold.

I just nodded, my throat tight with emotion. Each minute was a minute too long, in my mind.

His kiss was gentle and lingering.

"I love you, Bella." His breath was cool on my ear.

I twisted my fingers in his hair. "I love you, Edward. So much."

"Edward! Come on!" insisted Alice.

I sighed as he left. Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle were readying to leave as well.

**"Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?" I tried to maintain the happy atmosphere. **

**Jasper looked at me gravely. **

"No, Bella," he responded solemnly. "We will be sitting Edward down and explaining his husbandly duties and trying to impress upon him that now that he has a family, he really needs to grow up."

"Right," Emmett had nodded his head, smothering a snicker. "On our way to Vegas, I'll make sure we do just that."

"You know," I commented, "if you are headed to Vegas, maybe I could just come along and we could get this over with."

They had both stopped, hands in mid air, and stared at me with horrific expressions on their faces.

"Bella," Jasper whispered, looking more afraid than the day they faced the newborn army, "Do you know what Alice would _do_ to us?"

"I could go along, if you thought they needed a female chaperone." Tanya suggested.

"Over my pile of ashes," Rosalie snorted quietly. Tanya's eyes flashed to the couch behind me where Rosalie sat, but didn't respond.

Suddenly, an overwhelming feeling of love for Rosalie overtook me. Jasper grinned at me. He may not be able to read my mind, but surely he could read the timing of my emotions.

Tanya must irritate her to no end. We were kindred spirits in that matter.

My interaction with Tanya and Kate had been pretty much non-existent, once the primary introductions had been made. I found Kate to be quiet, with gentleness about her. Tanya was, well, she was beautiful…but the two of them had actually worked to make themselves a bit scarce.

Edward had explained to me that Tanya's arrival had made him uneasy, but not for the reasons my overactive imagination had conjured up. Her near-constant sexual innuendos and teasing took a toll on him, and he didn't want any of her comments to be at my expense. Once I knew that information, it was easy to not become defensive. I even managed to ignore the multiple times she'd cooed "Ah, Edward, I've missed you." So to this latest attempt at needling, I just shrugged and refused to take the bait.

"It's up to them."

"No chance, Tanya. This is just us guys," Emmett declared with finality.

Unbelievably, I did manage to go to sleep. I awoke with a sense of anticipation.

The cloud cover was thick, but not stagnant. A light breeze kept the air moving, and no rain fell.

"Perfect weather," Alice declared. "I knew it."

"Bella," sighed Renee over breakfast, "Can you believe at the end of today, you will be married?!

I just smiled.

The arrival of the flowers, beautiful bouquets of lilies and freesia, filled the air with perfume.

"Lillies represent regalness," Alice explained. And freesia, spiritedness. Exactly the right match." She grinned at me, one of many I received during the day.

I grinned back, and the grin was authentic.

I irreverently sat on the polished stainless counter and watched tray after tray of the delicate petit fours with their pastel icings parade by me, searching out their home in the enormous kitchen's walk in refrigerator.

When the chef and his entourage arrived I was unceremoniously booted out of the kitchen. Before I knew it, it was time for the ladies to get dressed. I knew better than to argue when Alice insisted "_Yes_, we need two hours to get ready! At _least_!"

My newfound kinship with Rosalie made our picture session proceed with even more ease than I expected. I lost track of how many poses I was put in, and how many different places she took me to around the grounds, with Alice and Renee and Esme whispering excitedly amongst themselves until it was time for them to join in the pictures.

"I do have a request, Rosalie."

She glanced up. "Yes?"

"Please put the camera on automatic and join me in some of the pictures." I felt a bit shy as I asked.

She smiled a lovely smile.

"Although your beauty will steal the spotlight," I jokingly complained.

"No one looks more beautiful than you today," she said with a smile. I felt a blush creeping up my face.

"Lovely," she whispered, snapping away.

Soon there was nothing left to do but relax on the second floor. I was not allowed to leave, since Edward and the men were having their photo session with Rosalie. The pictures of Edward and I together, and of the bridal party would take place after the wedding, while the guests were being served dinner. Alice, supported by Esme and even my own mother, was adamant that Edward and I not see each other until we met in the chapel.

It didn't make any sense to me, but I endured with patience I didn't even know I had. It would be over soon, I told myself.

Alice stood guard to make sure I didn't even peek out the windows.

But in these few minutes before I stood behind the wooden doors to enter the chapel, time suddenly slowed almost to a standstill.

Emmett was not doing the music until the reception. Today, a harpist took his place. The music echoed and swelled out the doors. I watched Alice disappear into the swirling notes, her amethyst dress swirling with her, with the long trail of silver sash the last to go through the door.

The first few notes of my lullaby brushed across the air. Even played on the harp, I recognized the melody.

We entered the chapel. I could feel the cool stone through my thin ballet slippers. It anchored my body from flying away with exhilaration, as I saw the most beautiful sight in the world.

Edward's face. His astonished, excited, awestruck face. I focused on it. I could feel the eyes of the guests on me as they followed Renee's lead and stood for my entrance. But I only had eyes for Edward.

We arrived at the end of the aisle, and stopped in front of Carlisle, with Edward facing us, Alice a few feet to the right of him and Jasper on his left.

"Beloved family and friends," began Carlisle, as the harpist's notes lingered in the air, "we have gathered here today to witness the most holy of covenants..."

His short comments were tortuous. To have Edward so close, yet not be able to touch him, felt excruciating.

Finally the moment that would release me to his touch.

"Who presents this woman to be married to this man?" Carlisle asked.

In a clear voice, with his eyes belying the emotion, Charlie replied "Her mother and I do."

He turned and kissed me lightly on the cheek, then reached for Edward's hand, remembering to place mine on top as Alice had instructed him to and gave them a squeeze.

Edward's gaze never left my face.

"Bella and Edward," Carlisle spoke after the audience was seated, "To get married is to embark on the journey of getting to know each other, of coming to see each other as you really are. Your souls are protected so your hearts can open. This companionship on life's journey is the hallmark of marriage. The gift you give to each other is yourself."

The room was still.

"The contract of marriage is most solemn and is not to be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully and seriously with a deep realization of its obligations and responsibilities. No other ties are more tender and no other vows more important than those you are about to pledge."

I heard what Carlisle was saying, and even managed to speak my lines when necessary. But I was oblivious to everything else around me.

Until Edward broke our eye contact.

His eyes shifted ever so slightly to the audience, then to Carlisle who paused just for an instant.

Edward gave an infinitesimal nod.

Carlisle continued. "At this time Bella and Edward would like to ask their families to surround them as a physical portrayal of unity."

We had not rehearsed this. It was not part of the wedding. I glanced at Charlie and Renee, who were as confused as I was.

Esme, with a sweet look on her face walked across the aisle and held out her hand to Renee, who took it hesitantly. Charlie followed her lead and soon I found Edward and I in the middle of a small circle, with Charlie placed on Carlisle's right, Renee next to him, Alice, then Rosalie, Emmett directly between us and the audience, Jasper and Esme on Carlisle's left closing the circle.

I felt surrounded with love.

"Please join us in this sacred moment as Edward and Bella take their vows."

A squeeze from Edward brought my focus fully back to him. My heart was pounding as I heard his lovely and gentle voice repeat these words; without any prompts from Carlisle .

"I, Edward take thee, Isabella to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. I will love thee faithfully, honor thee selflessly, and cherish thee every day of my existence. I will stand between thee and harm. On this holy day, I pledge to thee my love and my life, for all eternity. As I have given thee my hand to hold, so I give thee my life to keep, thereto I plight thee my troth, so help me God."

My heart was racing. But love kept me steady, and I spoke my promises.

"I, Isabella take you, Edward to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. I will love you faithfully, honor you selflessly, and cherish you every day of my existence. I will stand between you and harm. On this holy day, I pledge to you my love and my life, for all eternity. As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to keep, I speak these words in truth, so help me God.

With my ring back where it belonged, and Edwards secure on his hand, the words I had been waiting for all day arrived.

With a joyous tone to his voice, Carlisle proclaimed to the audience, "In so much as Edward and Isabella have consented to live forever together in the holy covenant of matrimony, and have witnessed the same before this company, having given and pledged their troth, each to the other, and having declared same by the giving and receiving of a ring, I pronounce that they are husband and wife."

He looked down on us with love.

"You may now seal the promises you have made with each other with a kiss."

I knew without a doubt, no sweeter kiss had ever been placed on anyone's lips than the one Edward placed on mine. It soaked down through my skin and into my heart.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the loving couple, Edward and Isabella Cullen".


	11. Chapter 11: Surrender

All I can say about this chapter is…

_All I can say about this chapter is...(big sigh!) _

**Syzygy by twilighterpated**

**Chapter 11 : Surrender **

Alice helped me out of my wedding gown.

Three floors below me I knew there was a party winding down, but I couldn't hear a sound. We could have been in the middle of nowhere, with no one around. No one but the Cullens knew Edward and I were actually three floors above them and not on our way to the Seattle airport like we had so carefully portrayed.

Now I was doing my best to relax, with Alice to keep me company. She could barely speak, she was so happy. The event had gone perfectly. Everyone once in a while she would sigh in complete contentment.

My thoughts wandered over the evening as well. After the kiss, it had all seemed a bit surreal. Memories floated back in bits and pieces. The receiving line. The cake, which Edward ate with amazing humanness. Our first dance – our only dance. The get-away. And then being carried, of course, by Edward through a side entrance, and up to our fourth story hideaway.

Alice jumped up and turned to the door, reacting to sounds too soft for my human ears. "Oh – wow. That has to be the fastest hunt on record," she exclaimed. "He's already back and I'm sure he wants me gone. It's time for you, my dear, to change your clothes." She flashed that wicked grin.

Now I jumped up, a bit more quickly than needed.

"You've got a little time. He's gone to take a shower in the other room." She turned to go, but turned back and grabbed me in a hug.

"Bella." She whispered in my ear "You are going to have a fabulous, amazing night. Relax. Enjoy it."

She turned, and with swift movements pulled back the layers upon layers of linens that were on the bed, folding them neatly at the bottom. She practically skipped out of the room – stopping at the thermostat. "Hmmm. Let's turn this up a bit shall we? Edward can be a bit cold, at times. Wouldn't want you to get a chill." She winked, closed the door, and was gone.

I opened the closet and fingered the delicate white gown. Relax? How could anyone relax on their wedding night? Was Alice telling me it would be great because she knew, or because she _knew_?

Without warning, I heard music drift in from the other room. Edward was playing the piano, calling me to him.

Quickly I removed the jeans I had changed back into and slipped _the_ gown off the hanger and over my head. It was so light. I shivered slightly as it crawled down my legs, telling myself that it was just the sudden change in temperature from not having jeans on.

I didn't convince myself. I just needed to be with Edward.

I opened the doors as quietly as possible, hoping that he would not stop playing.

Through the massive windows, I could see a few stars twinkling in the breaks of the clouds. The lights were low in the room. Edward was seated at the piano, a robe of navy silk wrapped around his body. My feet made little sound – at least to my ears – in the plush carpet. Coming up behind him, I dropped my arms around his shoulders and clasped them on his chest, left hand on top.

The ring still sparkled, even in the low light. He turned his face into my arms, breathing in deeply. I let the song carry away my anxieties of the day, the nervousness of the night. I let myself remember the look on his face as I had walked down the aisle to him.

"I Edward, take thee, Isabella…"

When the song ended, he closed his eyes and took my arms in both hands and kissed the hollow of my elbow. My heart that had been calmed by the music started racing once more.

He broke the clasp of my hands, entwined his fingers in mine and slowly turned the piano stool and stood up. For the second time that day, a stunned look spread across his face. I just gazed at those warm amber eyes, so full of emotion, so deep.

"Bella," he said – and then his voice caught. He took one set of our clasped hands and stroked my cheek, swallowed, and tried again. "You look – you _are_ … enchanting, you are…" his voice trailed off. "I…I am so thankful…I…"

Rarely had I seen Edward struggle for words. It made him seem so entirely human. I reached up to entwine my fingers in his still damp hair. He caught my wrist, inhaled deeply and kissed the throbbing pulse point, eyes never leaving mine.

"I love you, Edward." I said simply.

"Bella," he breathed. His breath was so sweet and cool. I leaned in to inhale.

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me, a slightly intense kiss, the kind that left me dizzy and weak. His mouth left mine in time for me to breathe, and his hands slid out of the way to make room for his lips on my neck, his fingertips brushing down my nape, my neck, my spine…and he lifted his head and looked at me curiously.

"What?" I whispered. I could feel his cool fingers finding the edge of the silky fabric.

A smile played on the corner of his lips.

"You seem to be missing the back of your gown," he murmured, as his fingers traced previously untouched skin, skin that now tingled as his fingers passed over it.

"I hope to be missing all of it soon," I whispered.

"Is that so, Mrs. Cullen?" His hands moved lower and lower into areas once out of bounds. "Might I be of assistance to you with that matter?" His lips were on my collarbone, his hand now resting at the small of my back.

"I was hoping you would," I breathed.

I could feel my legs going weaker, so I leaned into him, and the motion pulled his hand over the curve of my waist and across my hipbone. I heard him catch his breath, then suddenly I was scooped up in his arms, his lips on mine. He carried me effortlessly and soundlessly to the room, pausing only the nudge the doors closed with his foot, his lips never pausing, and gently laid me on the bed. I was suddenly thankful Alice had pulled back the linens. If he had put me on my feet to do it himself, it would have been difficult to stay upright. My head was spinning and I was grateful to be on something solid and still.

He straightened up, his hands going to the tie of his robe and stopped suddenly.

"What?" I whispered for the second time.

Like a blur, he shed his robe and was at my side, his face nestled in my hair, breathing deeply.

"You look like an angel," he whispered.

"You _are_ my angel," I said, my voice full of emotion. I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes. That's how I thought of him – my angel, my guardian angel. My protector, for so many times, and now my lover and husband.

It was so much more than I deserved.

He was so beautiful, so white, so..naked, his cool body pressed against mine. I ran my fingers thorough his hair and across his neck and marble shoulders. My gown, flimsy and unsubstantial in the store, now felt like a parka between us.

His breathing slowed, and he seemed to get a hold of himself.

"Bella" he murmured. "I want this night to be everything you dreamed it would be. Other than my assistance with your gown, is there anything _else_ you are hoping for? How you would like this to go?"

As if I could think at all, in this moment. I hadn't really dreamed of this exact moment – only dreamed that it would happen.

"You," I gulped. "Me. And that's…about it." It was all I could manage.

"Oh," he replied, with a slight amusement in his voice. He lifted his head and gazed at me. "That's all?"

I traced his lips with my finger. "Well..not exactly _all_." He laughed, a soft chuckle.

I suddenly panicked. What if he had expectations? I didn't know what I was doing. I was so inexperienced. I didn't want to disappoint him.

"What…what about you? Is there…" I trailed off, not even sure of what to ask. "This is your wedding night, too," I finished somewhat lamely. "And you've waited so much longer than I have."

"Well…" he buried his face again in my neck. The movement made me think he was blushing - if he could blush. The thought put me at ease. At least in this area, we were on equal footing. We were both new at this. We would experience it together.

He took a deep breath. "I want, more than anything, for this to be…a pleasurable night. For you. So…according to Carlisle and Esme…"

My fingers stopped tracing his impossibly muscular arms. "You talked to them about this?!" I asked, slightly mortified, my mind suddenly distracted.

"Bella, they do have a few hundred years experience on me in this area."

I laughed quietly at that thought and relaxed as his hand continued to caress my arm.

"So, according to them and some reading I've done, the key for your enjoyment is to.." he paused to kiss my neck-

" -go" here he kissed under my jaw,

"-very" a kiss on my collarbone,

"-slow," and a long kiss in the hollow of my throat. His hand had been moving at the same time, and ended up on a very sensitive, I suddenly realized, part of my hip.

"And to keep me breathing." I gasped, my heart pounding away.

"For as long as possible." He whispered, so quiet I could barely hear it. "But we're not discussing that right now."

I couldn't think of anything to say. I couldn't really think at all, I could only be so aware of his entirely naked body next to mine. He pulled himself up on his elbow so he could look down on my face. "Slow," he repeated. "Which I will find quite difficult," he murmured as his eyes swept from my face down the length of my body.

His next kiss was different. I could sense it. It was a kiss with the purpose and intent of arousal, not restraint; a kiss full of knowledge that it would not be stopped, that we didn't have to stop. The boundary lines were gone.

I felt the change, and responded, one hand in his hair, one hand sliding down his back. I liked his skin, his muscles…

"Slow" he whispered, and then laughed quietly. "Except for your heart, which I have no control over."

"Wrong," I said, as soon as I could breath. "You completely control my heart."

I realized, as I said it, that those words had two meanings. But I didn't think about it, only about pressing closer and closer to him. I rolled onto my side slightly to kiss his neck, and his hand slid down my side to my hips. I let my hands explore, as his were, fully enthralled with his chiseled muscles, his strong waist, he lean hips, his thighs, his-

He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his chest, smiling apologetically. "I was wondering. I need a little help, just for tonight. Maybe you could keep your hands in places that aren't quite as…distracting? Please," he added formally.

I stopped while I processed his request, and then laughed. He smiled my favorite crooked smile. I answered with a soft kiss on his chest. If that's what he needed to make the night go well... "Okay, I'll behave. For tonight."

"For once," he teased.


	12. Chapter 12: Bliss

_Now STOP before reading this chapter. This is the reason why the story is rated "M". Please go by the rules you agreed to when you signed up for your fanfiction account. I realize this story has been pretty tame up to this point, but this chapter makes up for it. You won't find a chapter like this in breaking dawn._

_Now having said that, it is not like the …um…. more disgusting stuff that I have read out there. Some of you may still think it IS tame._

_There's my warning._

**Syzygy by twilighterpated**

**Chapter 12: Bliss**

My arms, fully alive.

My shoulders, fully alive.

My waist and hips and legs, fully alive.

Everywhere that Edward caressed me with his cool hands, so gently yet urgently, felt alive in a different way. Like he had electrified his fingers for tonight. Maybe that was another vampire talent that he had been keeping a secret.

I responded again as his mouth found mine, hungrily. In between kissing I could catch my breath. When his mouth was not on mine I could hear him humming, to calm himself, or maybe me.

If it was to calm me, it wasn't working. I never imagined I could be so aroused. The meadow was nothing compared to this.

Then, with his mouth moving with mine, he brushed his fingers gently across my breasts. Even still covered in lace, they responded. The arousal went to an entirely new level.

My eyes shot open to find his staring into mine. He must have heard the sputtering of my heart.

"Are you enjoying this, Isabella." he murmured. It was a statement, more than a question.

I couldn't speak, so I simply nodded my head, moved my hands to his beautiful face, and brought his lips to mine. Eagerly. Passionately. When he caressed my breasts, my body had paid attention. I could feel it. It wanted more. I wanted more. I tried to let him know, through the intensity of my kiss.

The thin straps of the lingerie slid easily from my shoulder. He hesitated only for an instant, then peeled the lace away from my chest and down to my waist, bending down to cover a breast with his cool sweet lips.

I gasped. I felt electrified. It was amazing. My hands flew to his head, pressing it down to keep it there.

I could not believe the shocks going through my veins; could barely understand what was being awakened in me. Despite my hands, he lifted his head and lowered it onto other side. His hands moved my gown down my body and I pulled at it , eager for it finally to be gone, then rolled onto my side and pressed our bodies together, finally, with nothing between us, the electricity now flowing through every pulse in my body. His hands gently traveled down and I didn't wait, but hitched my leg up around his waist and the back of his thigh. Again his fingers hesitated, so I laid my hand on the side of his face and turned it back to me, licking his cool lips, tasting his skin, eager for more.

He hands finally traveled down the back of my thigh, inquisitive, exploring, and grabbed me at the knee, rolling me back onto my back. I didn't let go of his neck. I couldn't be close enough.

The only measure of time was increasing intensity of my body telling me…telling me…I couldn't listen, just respond as his kissing, stroking went lower and lower, below my breasts, on my hips, my thighs. I felt this intensity building and building.

"Edward." I whispered.

Instantly he was back near my face, but his hands on my inner thighs, caressing, cajoling. He was humming in ragged breaths, his face taut.

"I'm...I'm going to explode, Edward, please, I'm…ready." I didn't know what else to say. I hoped he understood.

"Are you," he murmured, his voice sexy and rough. He kissed me, both our eyes open and his hand stroking between my thighs. A groan escaped from my mouth. I could feel the moisture there. He stroked harder, and I groaned again, not even embarrassed. I couldn't stand it. I bent my knees, spreading them slightly – how did my body know to do that? He stopped kissing and looked into my eyes.

I couldn't read what flickered there, just for a moment. It wasn't passion. Fear? Panic? I didn't know; I just wrapped my arm around his neck to pull him down to me.

He kissed my mouth, then my neck, then my breasts. I realized while he was doing this he was shifting his position.

I heard him take a deep breath and slowly let it out. I wanted nothing more, but still, in that instant, I felt myself tense against the unknown. My hands, without his body to hold onto, had curled into fists. I consciously relaxed them. Carefully, slowly, he slid into me.

I waited for pain, but none came. Just an increase in the intense electricity.

His eyes widened. "You are so…warm!" he whispered, in a reverent voice.

The look on his face reminded me when I'd walked down the aisle to him. Radiant . Awestruck. He took another deep breath, and slowly he moved in and out, his eyes now closed, he jaw clenched. I thought I saw a tremor in his arms that were holding his weight off of me.

I wanted more. I couldn't explain - it was like my body knew without me telling it. There was too much distance between us.

"Edward," I begged, imploringly. His eyes flew open, searching my face, looking for pain.

"_Please_." I whimpered. He shook his head, again closing his eyes, his breath short.

My body knew what to do. I needed him closer, needed him _fully_, to make this overwhelming ache in me go away. I wrapped a leg around him, arched my back and pulled him further into me, down onto me, so our bodies were close.

He shuddered. I gasped. A sharp and virgin pain shot through my body.

The pain was intense but mixed with pleasure. It was overwhelming. Edward's face was buried in my neck, our bodies moving as one now, instinct taking over. With each thrust our breaths came faster; the pain was so entwined with pleasure that I could barely decipher the two. I was drowning, my head was swimming, my hands moving all over Edward's back and sides.

I felt Edward lift his head off of my shoulder, so I forced myself to open my eyes, to see my angel's face, his beautiful face alternating between awe and concentration. My breath was only in gasps. I thought that maybe he wasn't breathing at all. His eyes bore into mine, more intense that I've ever seen. There was a wildness in them.

His eyes.

His eyes were green.

_Green_.

His pace quickened and the pain grew stronger which each thrust of his body into mine. But the pain was finally overcome by pleasure. I closed my eyes and let wave after wave wash over me. I felt like I was flying, and clutched at Edward's skin to keep me on earth. The tension that had built up released, and I felt washed with ecstasy.

Beyond my control, sobs came from deep within me. I was crying, large heaves of primal tears, and I couldn't stop.

From a distance I heard Edward moan and cry out, felt his body stop and shudder against mine. Then he collapsed onto me.

I couldn't breathe with him on me. And I couldn't stop sobbing.

In an instance he shifted his weight back onto his elbow. He was definitely breathing now. His breath flowed over my face in cool short gasps. "Bella." He gasped. "Bella, I'm sorry. I couldn't stop - Bella, I'm so sorry." My eyes still closed, I shook my head and found his face with my hands. He touched my cheek.

"Bella?" his voice still anxious. I tried to control the sobs.

"Please, Bella, look at me." I could hear panic creep into his voice.

I willed myself to open my eyes. His eyes looked anxiously at me. His hand started probing my ribs on the side where he had collapsed onto me. "Are you hurt?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I'm. Okay." I managed.

Relief flooded his beautiful features. "You're okay," he repeated.

The sobs had eased. "Actually, so much more than just okay," I corrected, in a shaky voice.

"Bella, you're… _crying_." His fingers stopped probing, but he sounded confused.

"Because I'm so…happy." I finished weakly. I smiled despite the tears, trying to reassure him.

"You're crying because you're _happy_?" he clarified. I nodded. I couldn't really explain it myself. Slowly he smiled.

I felt a bit greedy as I reached up for yet another kiss. His eyes were still honey. The green must have been my imagination. I sighed, completely relaxed, and fully surrendered myself to his kisses.

Bliss. This was bliss.


	13. Chapter 13: Beginnings

Chapter 13: Beginnings

_If you are still reading, my most humble and sincere thanks to you. I am truly grateful for all the reviews. Many, many thanks, to Stephenie first of all, and to each of you. ! _

**Syzygy by twilighterpated**

**Chapter 13: Beginnings**

His warm and silky voice pulled me from twilight of sleep.

"Good morning, Mrs. Cullen," he whispered.

I smiled my good morning. "You must like the sound of that," I observed.

He could not suppress his grin, but did tuck his head down into my neck to hide it. "You have no idea." I heard him mumble. Then, gracefully lifting himself onto one elbow, he leaned over me dangerously. "Don't _you_?" he queried, his face hovering promisingly close to mine.

I just nodded, not trusting my voice when I was lost so deep in his eyes, and reached up to stroke his beautiful face.

"Good," he murmured, rewarding my answer with his lips on mine.

His eyes. My mind flashed back to the previous night. I must have imagined it, I concluded. Or a trick of the light against the sage sheets. In the clear morning light they were only golden, and I turned to stare deep into them as he laid his head down inches from mine.

There was something different about how he looked, one arm above his head, playing with my hair. A look that I couldn't quite place. Finally, it came to me.

"Edward."

"Yes, love?" His free hand gently stroked my cheek.

"You look so peaceful."

He laughed a quiet laugh, and continued to finger strands of hair. "I feel peaceful."

I had to look away, his face looked so radiant to me, more angelic than ever. I traced the veins and tendons on his arms. How many nights had those arms had held me close as I drifted to sleep? Just the same as last night, but yet so incredibly different from every other night.

I pondered this, feeling no rush at all, just thinking and tracing his arm.

"What are you thinking?" He asked this gently, with no edge to it, not even a hint of frustration or urgency. I glanced up at him, just to confirm what I heard. His peaceful expression had not changed.

"I was just thinking about how…nice it feels to be here with you… and how different I might feel right now, if...if we…had not waited."

He was quiet.

"For example, if I had to rush home right now and pretend to Charlie that I'd been at a slumber party with Alice, or on a shopping trip, and then pretend that nothing about me had changed...it would feel so…wrong, so….disrespectful," I finished.

"Disrespectful of Charlie?" he asked.

"Disrespectful of us," I said, snuggling into him. His arm tightened around me, and he leaned his head into my hair. My hands could feel his chest rise and fall with his deep breath. It was quiet for a minute, and he stroked my hair.

"So much of my life, by necessity, is pretend," he said slowly. "But it would have been tortuous to have to pretend about you…about us." He laughed quietly. "Although it sometimes felt like torture to wait."

I grinned and then rolled out of his arms onto my back. The movement pulled the sheet away, and I reached down to pull it back over me. Edward's hand caught mine, his eyes moving down my body, now uncovered to the waist.

"Leave it off," he said softly. I could feel the blush flare up my face, and hear my heart picking up speed as I looked at him…looking at me.

"I wanted to pull it off during the night, so I could just look at you...all of you." His eyes came back to my face. "But I didn't want to disturb your sleep." He leaned in slightly to kiss my neck and collarbone. My heart was pounding. Breathe, I reminded myself.

"And how _did_ you sleep, Mrs. Cullen?" he murmured.

"You tell me." I said distractedly, concentrating on his hand moving slowly, gently, over my breast. His eyes had a look I could not place, as he watched my body respond to his touch. Did I have no control over this? Apparently not.

He pulled back slightly. His eyes sparkled. "I've never had such a boring night."

I raised my eyebrows at his tease. "_Really_." Boring was the last word on earth to describe my night.

"It's true," he insisted. "Not a single word came from your beautiful mouth." He traced my lips with his cool finger. "You barely moved the whole night." He forced a sigh. "I've never seen you rest so well. All I could do was just count the hours till you woke up."

I did feel amazingly well-rested, I realized.

"Poor thing," I offered sympathetically.

He sighed again, blowing cool, sweet air across my face. "I managed."

"I'm sure you did."

"But just _barely_," he emphasized, his hand now moving down my hip, sending electricity down my leg and my heart rate to the sky. "I was so…hungry."

"Didn't you just eat?" I managed to say, a little breathless.

"Not hungry for food," he mumbled his lips on my neck, his thumb on my hip bone. Had someone forgotten to inform me of the "on" button located at just that exact spot?

"Um, Edward…" I began, between kisses. He stopped and raised he head to look at me.

"Although you probably _are_ hungry. For food, that is," he qualified. "Well, we have all weekend."

"We have eternity." I corrected him, smiling. "And what I really want is a shower. I didn't realize sex was so…messy." I blushed, still not used to conversing in this manner. "I'll still need my human moments."

He laughed at this. He pulled the sheet off of himself and rolled over and swung his legs off the bed. "I still take showers, so what are those moments called?" he teased, as he stood up.

I stared at him. My husband. My gorgeous husband.

I realized that last night I had never really seen him. I had felt him, been so aware of him, but with the dim light and with the restrictions he placed on me, and with how nervous I was, I never really looked at him. He was so unbelievably handsome. And without a doubt, so very…male.

"What?" he said, smiling, but looking a bit embarrassed, even without the ability to blush.

"I changed my mind." I said. "Get back in here. I'm _really_ hungry."

He grabbed his robe from the floor and put it on before bending down to kiss me, laughing.

"I mean _without_ the robe," I clarified.

"Let's shower, and eat, and then play," he suggested.

I nodded reluctantly. I really needed to brush my teeth.

But my toothbrush was in the bathroom, and I was in the bed, and my robe was in the closet. And Edward was standing there, waiting for me.

I blushed. Get over it, I told myself. I was his wife. After everything I did with him last night, how could I be embarrassed to walk around naked in front of him?

He sat down on the bed and grinned at me. Grinning, playful Edward. This was different.

"Would you prefer me to step out?" he asked politely.

I grit my teeth and shook my head. "No, I would prefer for myself to quit being so…ridiculous."

He laughed again, but stood up and walked to the closet. "I don't think it's ridiculous. It is quite a change in our relationship, one that we'll both have to become used to. A very _enjoyable_ change, I might add." He stepped into the closet and when he came out, his smile was even bigger…with a glint to it.

"Apparently, you and Alice had a very successful little shopping trip."

"Half of those I don't even remember picking out." I confessed. "I think she threw in some extra things."

We both laughed. He had one of my robes with him and he held out his hand. I took it and rose somewhat clumsily out of bed, feeling quite bare in the sunlight.

"You'd better get this on quick, or we won't make it to the shower," he said, his eyes moving over my bare skin. But he held out the robe like he was helping me into a coat, so I slid it on.

His attention was suddenly diverted. He pulled me to the window.

I watched as my mom pulled away, Esme and Carlisle driving her to the airport.

Edward held me tight as tears slid down my face.

I knew I wouldn't see her again for a very long time. The next time I did, I wouldn't be able to shed a tear at our parting.


	14. Chapter 14: Author's note

**Author's Note**

First off, I have to apologize for the poor quality of a couple of the last chapters. I was writing fast and furious to try to get them done before I left for vacation and before Breaking Dawn came out. I really rushed through chapters 9 and 10, so they are not as good as they could be.

By the way, NO, I haven't read Breaking Dawn yet, so don't email me any spoilers! I get to read it in a couple of days. I know after I read it, I most likely won't finish "my" version of it. I actually have my own novel that I'm in the process of writing (it was totally derailed by the need to write twilight fanfiction…). I need to get to trying to write something that can actually be published!

But in case you're curious how my plot line went, it was something like this….

The reason why Edward broke eye contact with Bella during the wedding was b/c he heard the thoughts of Billy Black. Edward had "the circle" plan in place with the Cullens just in case something made him nervous.

Actually seeing Bella get married – and not to Jacob - was a little too much for Billy to handle. His anger over the loss of his son and potential daughter-in-law , coupled with the yet unknown fact that there are more vampires coming to Forks (the volturi) trigger the werewolf gene in him and he phases – and of course, given the physical freedom that he has in werewolf form, he refuses to phase back. He assumes the alpha position, of course, and his rage taints the pack into a more vicious one – but also weakens it in a sense, as most of the pack members don't want to do what he is commanding them to, but can't refuse his orders. They are not allowed to phase back into human form.

After the honeymoon, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme go to New Hampshire for a few days to scope out a new place to live. Bella decides she'd rather spend some time saying goodbye to Charlie, so she stays in Forks at the Cullens house with Rosalie and Emmett volunteering to "babysit".

Bella and Charlie decide to go fishing for old time's sake, and on the way home Charlie wants to stop by the Blacks to check on Billy, b/c he hasn't returned his calls. Bella doesn't want to, but can't talk Charlie out of it. They arrive at the home to find his wheelchair in shreds and the doors busted and large wolf tracks…Bella of course figures out immediately what has happened and tries to get them out of there. They are surrounded by the pack. Charlie tries to fight and ends up unconscious.

When Bella doesn't return Emmett and Rosalie go looking for her. Most of the pack doesn't want to hurt Bella or the Cullens, but they can't refuse Billy. Emmett and Rosalie fight to try to rescue Bella and Charlie. Emmett is killed in the attempt, but not before killing Paul. Rosalie tries to save Bella on her own but is also killed. Bella is next, but just then Jacob arrives. The pack mind had alerted him to what was going to happen. He's been gone for so long, and since really is the pack alpha, he's able to resist Billy's orders. He and Billy fight for the Alpha role and Billy is killed. Jacob assumes the alpha role. He refuses to negotiate a new treaty with the Cullens unless Bella agrees to stay human, and the Cullens agree to move immediately and never settle in Washington again. Bella sees how she can bring peace to the war, and agrees, with Edward's blessing, to stay human.

Edward eases Bella's guilt over Emmett and Rosalie's death by confiding in her that Rosalie wanted to die. She hated that Edward knew that about her. She wanted to be released. She only continued living b/c of her love for Emmett – with him gone, there would be nothing else for her to live for.

Before the Cullens can leave Alice sees the Volturi attacking. Tanya shows up with Kate and Eleazor to explain that Irina has informed the guard of the werewolves and how Laurent was killed. The guard hides under the guise of revenge for Laurent's death, but the Cullens know it's really about taking them down. Now the Cullens fight to protect the pack. The three Denali members fight with the Cullens. The main guard is destroyed. Aro, Marcus and Cauis show up and end the fight. They make a truce with the Cullens / three denali clan – and the truce includes Bella being able to stay human.

The epilogue is a recap of Bella's dream – the one where she thinks she's her grandma – with Edward still by her side. She's made peace with who she is.

Now you know where I was headed with the story!

And in a couple of days I'll know the rest of Stephenie's story – one million times better than mine, it goes without saying!

I greatly enjoyed writing this fanfiction, and so appreciated all of the reviews and nice feedback. Hmm…maybe I won't be able to resist… I might have to write a few one-shots after reading Breaking Dawn!

Thank you again to each person who left reviews!


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